Thursday {Laurinah}

Thursday (the rain won't last forever)

Lauren doesn't think she's ever met anyone as alive as Dinah. Even when she sleeps, something about her is always moving, whether it's her arms holding a pillow more tightly or the way she mouths words that Lauren doesn't understand.

Lauren always tries to read her lips, but she never catches more than a word or two, and it always feels like she's seeing something she shouldn't be.

(After all, she knows the words aren't meant for her anyway.)

There's soft music playing from Lauren's phone in the background, and Dinah is collapsed on Lauren's bed, passed out from boredom. It's Thursday, so an open chemistry textbook is lying, abandoned, in between the two of them, and Lauren has stopped pretending to be reviewing her notes.

Maybe it's the half smile on Dinah's face, or maybe it's how peaceful she looks, curled up in Lauren's biggest sweatshirt. But whatever it is, Lauren can't seem to stop watching her.

The way twilight looks on her skin makes Lauren want to fill up another notebook with a hundred more songs, just for her.

It's all Lauren can do to keep her distance, occupying her hands with clicking her mechanical pencil slowly, in time with the music. She wants to press herself against Dinah until her body isn't her own anymore.

A car alarm goes off somewhere down the street, and Dinah wakes up halfway, blinking her eyes open and looking around before her gaze settles on Lauren.

"You look sad, Lo," she says, pushing herself up on her elbows sleepily. "Come cuddle."

Somehow, Lauren manages to unfreeze herself and scoot towards Dinah, letting her friend move them around until Lauren is on her back, her head and shoulders against the pillows, with Dinah's long arms wrapping around her, nose pressed against Lauren's neck.

"What are you sad about?" Dinah murmurs, her lips on Lauren's collarbone.

"I'm not sad."

"Maybe not, but you're something like it," she says. "Whatever it is, I wish you'd tell me."

Letting her eyes shut gently, Lauren strokes Dinah's hair and lets herself drift, Matty Healy's voice coming softly through the speakers. The song is fallingforyou, and Lauren almost wants to laugh at the irony.

(Lauren doesn't think she's falling for Dinah; she knows she is. She's always known.)

Dinah sighs. "I'm here," she says quietly. "You know that, right? I'll always listen to you."

"I know," Lauren replies, wishing she could just tell Dinah everything. They're silent for a few moments, the room full of the sounds of their breathing, slowly beginning to match until they sound like a single person.

(Even though they're curled together like linked fingers, somehow Lauren can still feel how separate they are. No matter how close she gets, it's never close enough.)

"Being some kind of sad is okay, but it gets hard after a while. It's like..." Dinah pauses for a moment, thinking. "It's fine when it's raining, and sometimes it's even pretty. Rain makes everything more clear, and the sun feels even better afterwards."

Lauren is looking up at the ceiling now, playing with a strand of Dinah's hair as the younger girl thinks out loud. Dinah's voice is quiet, and she speaks almost slowly.

It makes Lauren want to listen even more closely, somehow, because she knows that Dinah means every word.

"But if it rains for too long, it stops being helpful. Things can't grow when the water keeps beating them down," Dinah continues. "When I was little, my auntie told me that water can wear away rocks if it has enough time. Sadness is like that, I guess. It can wear anyone down if it's there long enough. It doesn't care about anything except itself."