Three days had passed since me and Taehyung did the deed. We had only done it that one time because I found the experience too—overwhelming. If you need any indicators as to how hard it has been for me to process what had happened, I still call it 'the deed'.
I didn't understand my behavior during the whole ordeal and it made me feel really anxious about doing it again. It's been hard trying to bring myself to repeat an experience where I felt like I had no control—unable to foresee anything. What's been harder to deal with though, was the fact that I liked it that way. Enjoyed it even.
Taehyung agreed that we should take our time and so,—we spent the rest of our days together pretending like we were having a sleepover, which it technically was, but, we did all the fun stuff. We watched movies, played games, bought snacks.....cuddled....made out....many times....
Today, I was feeling really fucking miserable though. I have to go back to my mom's house, where I'd be forced to study again and have to watch every single word I say, all while having an unreasonable curfew. I'll also have to go back to school and possibly deal with the repercussions of standing up to Jihyun over text. More than all of that though, I was going to miss being with Taehyung all day. I'll miss seeing his face first thing in the morning and having it be the last thing I see before I close my eyes.
I'm head over heels now, aren't I?
"Well I'm going to miss you baby girl"
Every time I have a gentle thought about him, he has to go and ruin it for me. Is this really supposed to be the guy I'm in love with?
"Why do you have to say it like that?" I say, recoiling at the cringey feel of the word 'baby girl'.
"You're missing the point" he said, laughing at my reaction.
"Yeah okay" I said, grabbing him by the neck "I'll miss you too"
I pulled him in for a hug before giving him a peck on the cheek, as a parting gift.
Thinking we were done bidding each other goodbye, I turn around. Taehyung, being the greedy little shit he is, grabs my arm and pulls me into a another kiss. Lips delicate, each movement laced with a hint of sadness. I get it, I don't want to leave either.
We both soon retreat from our kiss, not allowing it to last too long. If this had went on any longer we would either fuck or cry—and I wouldn't be able to handle either.
I turn around once more, thinking I was finally free to leave, but he calls out to me "Hey, Wait"
I roll my eyes, thinking 'What is it now' but then I see his face—it was all muddled.
"I didn't ask you to—like, directly. To be my girlfriend, did I?" he asked, looking disappointed in himself. A bit nervous too.
"Not that I recall, no"
"Okay, well, to be clear you are my girlfriend" he said, smuggly putting his arm around me "I wanna make it official, let everyone know you're my girl"
Despite having zero intention of being shown off, I found the sentiment cute. His smugness however, not so much.
"Ummm, why would I want to he your girlfriend?"
"Huh?" he said, looking utterly dumbfounded. His face was priceless.
"Dude, I met you online" I said reveling at the torment I was inflicting on his poor poor soul "What if you were a murderer or something?"
"Well I don't think you'd be so willing to fuck a murderer" he said giving me a sarcastic smile.
