Heaven in the City

Chapter Four

I sit at my dinning room table, a few days later, and watch as my mom walks from the kitchen to the place where I am with my brother. She made baked ziti. Brian's eyes grow bigger when mom walks in with the large dish.

"Uh, where's dad?" I ask as she sits down in one of the tall wooden chairs. Mom only glances up at me for a second before reaching over for my brother's hands.

"I don't know." Brian nudges me and I take his hand.

"Can I say grace?" He asks and mom and I finish the circle.

"Yes." Brian lowers his head and closes his eyes and we do the same.

"Dear Lord, thank you for the food on our plates and the grass and the sky and everything in between."

"Amen." I mumble as we all release each other's hands and move the ziti closer to me.

"It's just I wanted to tell you guys something."

"Yeah? What?" Mom asks as she places the napkin on her lap.

"Nothing, it's not that important."

"Okay."

"Do you know when he'll be home?"

"I don't know."

"Oh, well that's odd. Did he miss the train?"

"I don't know."

"Did you try calling him?" Mom glares at me as she scoops the noodle onto her plate. I move my hands onto my lap.

"Yes, I did try calling him, Heaven." She hisses at me.

"Sorry." Mom sighs.

"Don't be sorry." It's quiet for a while, except for the cars whizzing by on the road a little ways up the drive way.

"It's a gorgeous day." Brian half says half whispers.

"Yes it is."

"I love how it's warm but not hot." He says to my mom.

"Can I be excused?" I ask.

"Why?"

"I'm not hungry."

"Are you feeling alright?"

"Yeah, I just had a big lunch."

"You'll still have to do the dishes."

"But I'm not eating."

"Well I don't wear your clothes but I wash them."

"Can I go?" She nods and I slide out of my chair. I run up stairs and into my room. My laptop sits open on my desk. I sit down and open up the Georgia State website. I sit with my legs up against my chest and stare at the acceptance letter next to my computer. The site tells me that they have a lot of academics more about science, which is great, but I don't even know what I want to do with my life. After a few minutes I hear foot prints and quickly shut my laptop. I spin around in the chair to see Brian standing in the door way.

"Hey." I breathe out.

"We need to do the dishes." I look over at the letter on my desk and sigh.

"Yeah, okay I'll be down shortly."

In the kitchen very few plates were in the sink. Mom left a plate on the table with some ziti on it for dad. It only takes about twenty minutes to do all the dishes, and I'm in bed by around nine. Mom called dad about five times, she's getting worried. I don't think she should be, maybe he's just staying late or had a long meeting, maybe his phone died, maybe he's getting a big surprise or something. He's okay, I know it. I didn't hear mom come upstairs for bed until close to midnight. I fall asleep about an hour later.

The next morning I wake up when the sun is just peeking through my window. I crawl out of bed and pull my hair up out of my face and stumble down the stairs. I can hear someone moving around in the kitchen. I stand in the door way and watch as my mom takes the plate of ziti off the table and scrapes the food into the trash.

"Dad didn't wasn't hungry last night?"

"No," Her voice sounds sad, "dad didn't come home last night."

"What?" I rub my eyes.

"Your father is not here."

"No, he's probably in town or something."

"No, Heaven," Mom sighs, "he's not here."

"Stop saying that." I laugh, mom stops and looks at me. Her face is cold and stone but also soft and scared. Her eyes are kind of puffy and her hair is a mess, "Mom." I cross my arms and stand up straight, "No." I shake my head vigorously, "No. Call him."

"I can't." Mom puts her hands on her hips.

"Yes you can."

"No Heaven-"

"Call him." I grab the house phone and shove it into her hand.

"His phones dead. I kept calling him last night and it went straight to voice mail."

"Call him."

"Heaven." She say calmly.

"Made he charged it since last night."

"His phones dead."

"Maybe it's not."

"I also called him this morning and it still went straight to voice mail."

"Mom," I feel like my heart is going to pop out of my chest and my head hurts, "call him."

"I can't!"

"Call him god damn it!"

"Heaven!" Brian brushes past me into the kitchen.

"What's going on?" He asks.

"Nothing, sweetheart." Mom reassures him.

"Mom." I growl.

"Nothing's wrong." She says as she stares directly at me. Why won't she tell him? It's not that hard, she told me. Why would you tell one kid but not the other? Then it hits me, I can't handle this. If I can't handle this Brian will be awful. He will be more of a mess than mom and I are.

"Nothing's wrong, Brian."

"Are you sure?" He looks from me to mom. I place a hand on his shoulder and smile.

"Yeah, I'm sure. Nothing's wrong. I'm going for a walk." I say to mom. There's a noise by the door and my head snaps over. My legs don't move. Mom leans against the counter and stares at the door. Brian walks between us and opens the door. The mailman stands there holding our mail.

"Excuse me." Mom walks by me and I grab her arm.

"I know that you must be extremely scared and sad but so do I. I need you to hide that fro Bri