Confused (Under Construction)

FINAL CHAPTER: The open path

I ran to my room and locked myself in and feel onto the floor feeling sort of hurt that a 5th year could be prettier then I. I crawled to my big mirror and eyed myself trying to see if I was pretty or not. My body ached and my head hurt. This was more of an ‘am I ugly’ situation then being mad about what just happened. I fell back and lied on the floor looking at the celling. There was a light knock on the door. 

“What,” I spat.

“Open up!” said Adelaide annoyed.

“No!” I growled.

The lock opened and so did the door. 

“Charline, are you alright?” she sighed.

“No,” I looked away still lying on the floor.

“Well, tell me why,” she sat down on my vanity chair.

“I’m fine really,” I sighed.

“You just said you weren’t!” she squinted her eyes.

“I’m not-no, no I am fine!” I yelled. 

She raised an eyebrow at me.

“Oh, just go away!” I pointed towards the door.

“Charline, you are a very horrible liar, just god damn tell me!” her eyes widened.

“There is nothing to tell,” I sighed.

“Charline, get over Nathan he fell in love with that annoying fifth year you are way too good for him!” she said trying to motivate me.

“I honestly don’t care about that, I just wanted to know if I am ugly or not,” I shed a tear and wiped as quickly as I could.

“You aren’t ugly at all, what are you talking about?”  she asked concerned.

“I don’t know, before this all Severus pretended to fall in love with my mother for some apparent reason, and well I used to have thoughts that maybe I wasn’t pretty enough for him,” I murmured. “It made me insecure I suppose.”

“You suppose darling, it did.”

“I know, I know.” I closed my eyes.

“That is also the reason why you keep refusing Snape, is it not?” asked Adelaide eyes wide with wonderment.

“I am not answering that question, I need time alone please,” I got up to walk her out.

“Take all the time you want Charline but remember this might be your last chance,” she sighed and left. 

I shut the door. I walked to my bed and went to sleep.

Dream

I was walking through a field full of lilacs towards something black at the horizon. I couldn’t stop walking towards the thing it was odd. The closer I got the smaller it got though. I began to run faster towards it trying to catch the tiniest glimpse. Then I noticed it was Severus. He was just standing with a small grin on his face. 

“Severus?” I yelled.

He didn’t answer. He turned around and began to walk.

“Severus?” I asked.

I began to follow him but every time I got close he ran forward ignoring me.

I ended up tripping and he disappeared from sight.

End of dream

----

It took me two days to leave my room. I had a house elf cooking my meals and bringing them up and thats as much of the outside world as I had seen. I didn’t want people to feel sorry for me. I just wanted to forget about Nathan but believe it or not I already have...It wasn’t to hard. But today I was finally going to leave my shell and go to breakfast and have normal conversation like any normal person. I got dressed in my teachers uniform and walked briskly down the stairs avoiding wondering eyes. I saw Nathan on the way down.