Missing You

Chapter 5

Lukes POV

I'm so happy that me and Olivia are okay now. It makes me so happy because it's not going to be so awkward all the time.
Last night was one of the best shows I've played, we've only played one this tour, but I feel like that's the best show I'm going to play.

Olivia's POV

I don't know what to do. I can't be in the band anymore. I just can't. My mum will never be able to see me do what I've always wanted to do. It makes me so sad. It sounds so stupid but I can't do it. My voice is shit, I can't even sing. I'm going to disappoint everyone, that's all I seem to do lately. Upset and disappoint everyone. I don't even know if I'll be able to stay here if I quit the band. Adam might let me.

"You okay Olivia?" Luke snapped me out my thoughts. I just nodded.
"I know when there's something wrong. Tell me what's wrong" he continues.
"I can't do it anymore Luke, I can't be in the band anymore. It hurts that my mum won't be able to see me what I love doing best. It just hurts so much. If I quit I don't think I'll be allowed to stay on tour, but if I leave I might not see you again for years." I cry.
"Adam is a nice guy, I'm sure he'll let you stay. You've got to do what's best for you and if you think quitting the band is the best for you, then do it. Im not going to stop you. It hurts a lot that your mum isn't here, I've never forgot about her. And I'm sure you haven't either. She'll be proud of you for getting this far, but she'll understand if you don't want to continue. Do what's best for you Liv, I love you"
He makes me so happy, he always knows what to say to make me feel better. I don't know what I'd do without him.
"Thankyou so much Luke, you make me feel so much better all the time, you just make me happy. Can you come with me to talk to Adam, and then talk to Lana, Sophie and Hollie?" He nods and then hugs me. "Sure I will"
--

We spoke to Adam and he didn't mind, he said to do what's best for me, and he's even letting me stay on tour with them. I think when I tell the rest of them Sophie will be kinda upset, she loves the band. They can still continue because they don't really need me that much.

I call them all into the room and tell them all. They don't really seem too happy with me, but Lana doesn't mind too much. Hollie and Sophie seem angry but they understand. I think they're going to continue with the band, but I'm not entirely sure. They didn't give a straight answer.

I walked out the room and went to my own room. My phone started to ring so I answered, it was my brother. I don't see him often but we used to be close.

"It's dad. He's been in hospital for three weeks and he passed away early hours this morning. I know it's hard to take in Liv, but it'll be okay. I love you so so much, stay strong princess. The funeral is in two weeks, I'll see you then. I love you"
He didn't give me chance to say anything, I didn't know what to say anyway. My mum AND my dad have gone.
I can't do this anymore. I just broke down. The tears wouldn't stop, it hurt so much. I have to go through all the pain again. Loosing my mum was so hard, and now I've lost my dad. We grew so close since my mum died, he promised he'd never leave me.
I can't handle the pain, it's all too much. Luke and Calum must of heard me cry because they came running in the room.
Luke picked me up off the floor and laid me in the bed. He doesn't know what's going on but he goes with it and doesn't ask any questions.
"I love you Liv, I hope it gets better" Calum says before leaving the room. I'm so happy none of them ask questions, I can't even tell them at the minute.
-4 hrs later so it's like 10pm-
Lana comes in and sits in my room with me after Luke leaves. Everyone went to bed to have an early night. I eventually told Lana what happened, she sits with me and we both just sit in silence. Not an awkward silence, it's a comforting silence.
She told me she'd go back to the UK with me for the funeral and then come back if I wanted to. But I don't mind what we do, I'll do whatever Lana wants to do. If she wants to continue the tour and come back, I won't stop her. If she wants to stay in the UK, I won't stop her. She's always stuck by me, especially in times like this so I aren't going to leave her.
--

It's 4am and everyone fell asleep like 6 hours ago. But not me. I'm still awake. I haven't slept at all yet. I also don't plan on it. I can't sleep, I can't talk, I can't drink, I can't eat. I can't do anything. It hurts so much.
I miss him. I miss my dad so much.
I remember when we used to go for walks every afternoon while my mum prepared lunch. We had so many good times. It's going to be so hard going home. Back home to the house I shared with my dad. I can't stay there for long, it'll hurt far too much.
I just can't believe he's gone.

This is such a long chapter wtf and so much went on. It's just a filler because I haven't updated for a long time, so there we go two chapters in one day. You're welcome. And I am aware that both chapters are shit😂