One Day Too Late

Therapy

Echo's P.O.V.- 

"Let's talk," Jordan suggested, and I knew by his tone of voice that this was serious. 

"Okay?" I questioned.

"Echo, why did you really kill yourself? I know you said that Brandon pushed you over the edge, but when did it all start?" He looked with concern.

"Once upon a girl was forced to be perfect. She had to act a certain way, look a certain way, she even had to dream a certain way. She wasn't allowed to do much more than stand there and look pretty." I start.

"At first she didn't mind," I continue, "Her parents loved her, she was their sweet little daughter, sugar and spice and everything nice. She didn't even know she was pretending. But  there was this little part of her that wanted to break free. She ignored it at first, saw it as a temptation from the devil himself, trying to get her to leave her good girl mold.

"She had a happy childhood, all smiles, no tears. She had never experienced hardship until one day, when her grandfather died. This wouldn't be all that big to most people, but she was so surprised that something could go wrong in her sheltered life.

"She didn't get out of bed for a week, and the little girl's parents yelled at her, said Granddaddy was in a better place. Said she had to get over it because it wasn't normal for a little girl to get so upset over the death of a man she only saw once or twice a year.

"That wasn't the first time the little girl had the heard the word normal, but it was the first time it meant something to her.  Was she abnormal? The thought scared her, her parents wouldn't like her if she wasn't normal. 

"The girl would do anything for her parents approval. She tried too hard. She made the best grades at school, knew the most Bible verses in church, and did the most chores at home. It wasn't enough, her parents pushed, do more, do more!

"The girl was hurt. Was she not good enough? Then her school life turned upside down as well. She had had so many friends, everyone loved her. Until suddenly, she wasn't cool anymore. Everyone else grew up, and she kept trying to get them to like her, doing the same stuff she had done before. But now, she was a freak, a crazy.

"She hated the names, freak, crybaby, goody-two-shoes. She stopped trying to get them to like her. Finally, she grew up. But she grew twisted, marred by hate and bitterness. When the girl grew up, she left behind her sense of compassion, her trust, her smile. 

"She said, if they're going to call me a freak, I might as well give them a reason to. She went all out on her new found identity. Dressed in all black, wore heavy make-up, said she hated everyone. She lost her friends, or what was left of them.

"She told herself, I can't trust anyone but myself. The insults didn't stop, they just changed. Emo, satan worshiper,  attention whore. She didn't know the emo one, so she looked it up. Turns out there were others like her.

"Other hurt, abandoned, bitter kids. They called themselves emo, and they were proud of it. She joined their ranks. They told her so many things, music that actually talked about what she was going through. This music didn't tell her it was going to be okay, that she was overreacting. This music didn't spit out some preppy garbage, break ups songs, drunk songs, songs without any meaning.

"This music was real, it made her feel alive. She cried, laughed, danced to the music. She felt as if she had been asleep her whole life, and she was just now waking up. 

"But there are consequences of being awake. When you're awake, you feel, really feel everything. You begin to believe the lies, the insults. The once innocent girl sank into depression, developed an anxiety disorder, and developed severe bipolar disorder. It was all too much for her too handle. 

"One fateful night, she cut herself on accident. She watched the blood, entranced as the pain flowed through her. Adrenaline, she felt. She loved the pain. It made her feel as if she was doing something about the depression.

"But little cuts weren't enough. She went deeper and deeper, covering her arms with scars. Her parents found out. Up until this point they had been giving her the silent treatment, thinking that if they ignored this "phase" then it would go away.

"They yelled at her, called he the insults she had been hearing at school for a while now. That didn't stop her though, she just cried and cut more. She switched her cutting to her thighs so her parents wouldn't catch her. 

"But they did. The 'family' moved, they said because of a job, but the girl knew the real reason. To get her away from her new friends, they were emo like her. They were different than society liked, and bullied for it. She cried herself to sleep every night, looking at the walls of her new house.

"Her old friends forgot about her, reinforcing the idea that you can only ever trust yourself. She made new friends, but she never really trusted them. One girl eventually won the girl's trust, but fearing rejection, she never told her new friend about her problems. 

"One day, a preppy boy asked her out, drunk beyond reason. She said no, of course. He was persistent though, and he became less preppy every time he talked to her. 

"Eventually, she said yes. He made her see the world in a whole new way, made her believe there was still good in this wretched world. He lied. He became the good in her world. He was the light to her dark, the sun to her moon. But his preppy friends brought him back into their ways, until he was no longer the boy she once knew.

"She held on, hope that her love would come back for her, but he never did. Once his transformation was complete, he left her for another mindless clone. He broke any trust she had regained, she couldn't even talk to someone without worrying that they were lying to her, that they really hated her. 

"In the end, she came to believe that she was better off dead.She wasn't. She isn't."