Bebas

Baran Aku

Baran. A simple word that describe how loser you are. How worthless you are. How fucking mess up your life are. Get it? Aku tahu hidup manusia ni bermacam ragam. Ada yang baik, kurang baik dan sangat tak baik. But things will eventually changing right?.

Sapa yang suka lepak ngan orang yang level baran dia setinggi Everest?. Tak ada orang suka. Even tengok orang cakap dengan nada tinggi pun korang tak suka kan?. Mostly orang yang suka naik angin ni, kurang member, loner dan suka buat hal sendiri. Correct me if Im wrong.

Okay satu situasi. Ingat citer yang aku cakap dalam post lepas? Pasal aku suka melalak bila gaduh?. Yup it is one of my weaknesses. The worst!. I cant even know how to deal with it professionally. There will be two possibilities about to happen if Im getting upset. First, aku akan jerit sekuat mungkin kepada mangsa atau yang berkenaan dengan zikir-zikir kata kesat yang enak didengar. Second, barang-barang akan jadi mangsa. Regardless the price or brand or how much I love it. For example, tengah marah aku akan capai apa saja yang ada untuk channel kemarahan tu. Aku pakai Iphone, bukan nak poyo ke berlagak ke ape. Bila marah phone ni selalu jugak jadi mangsa. Screen pecah berapa kali dah. Bodoh nakharoom jubo kan?! Sangat. Phone yang mahal, amik masa sekejap je untuk rosak hancur pecah?? Agak-agak ramai tak yang species macam aku? Sep sikit ✋🏻.

Selain phone, cawan gelas buku dan meja belajar la benda yang favorite untuk aku lepaskan geram. Sometimes, secara sengaja dan bodohnya aku salahkan tuhan sebab buat aku tak mampu untuk kawal marah. Salahkan tuhan sebab dia biarkan aku lepas marah kat benda-benda tu. Salahkan tuhan sebab bagi perangai baran ni kat aku. For the moment, aku fikir aku sangat biadap. Blaming the God for what had happened? Korang pun pikir, wajar ke tak? Marah or baran tu sifat syaitan. Syaitan control minda kita and we are done. Then the consequences will be on your risk la.

That is why orang cakap, bila tengah tak stabil emo or marah or naik minyak, amik wuduk. Kalau tak calm, duduk. Then baring. Pastu zikir selalu. Well, kalau korang species ingat tak ingat tuhan ni payah la nak berkesan kan? Some goes to me la. Sometimes it works. Tapi most of the cases, lepas aku mengamuk pecah berdarah luka semua tu baru aku akan calm. Really? Yup it is. It works so well. Aku penah tengok rangkaian video ni "Banned in America". Basically video pasal orang mengamuk atau mentally unstable. So dorang akan act like life is no worth it anymore. Okay, one of the video was about this emotionally unstable guy who wanna kill himself for good. The road was closed by the police. The reporter recorded the footage from the chopper. First, he wanna to jump from flyover. It was like 10 metres high. He was standing on the edge and hesitated to jump down from flyover. Policemen were just surround him and did nothing at all. Next, he tried to burn himself in the car. I was like what???. But again he cant did it. Seriously it fucking hurtful la. Tak caya try sendiri. Then the man came out of the car and put down the fire on his shirt. Last resort, which has took his life where he took a gun. Without thinking for any secs, he put the muncung senapang into his mouth and just a click, boomm!!!! Bersepai otak dia. And of course he died immediately. The video recorded clearly. I wondered if the baran would drive me to do the same? Fuhh. Kau rasa?

I know benda tak berbaloi nak amik nyawa sendiri yang berpunca dari benda-benda bodoh ni. But who knows, it God says that is the way of your death, then it is. Halal or haram, it still happening. Dan sebab tu la aku kalau tengah naik angin aku akan hibernate dari suara-suara setan sama ada setan itu sendiri atau setan bertopengkan manusia. Semua orang aku tahu ada limit masing-masing. So work it on your own. As long tak ada orang yang mampus sebab kau tengah marah kan. Thats fair enough. Ha ha ha. Lame!

Btw, baran ni genes yang memang wujud dalam keturunan aku kot. Dari arwah atok, abah ma abang sampai la aku. Semua orang la ada peel baran masing-masing. Haha sadis kesian padan muka. Tuhan uji family aku camtu. Bala ke? Mungkin. So we just have to struggle to avoid it from betul-betul jadi bala. Fuhh. So that it.

***aku tak tahu la post ini effect kat readers ke tak. Comments are appreciated. Thanks!