Help Me Breathe

chapter 9

"Jordan--"

"Jane."

"Jordan, come on--"

"Jane, I'm not making you wear any pink. I promise okay."

I made a face. I had both hands pressed against Benedikt's door, with Jordan on the other side. She could just push the door down, but both of us were sure that Benedikt wouldn't appreciate it. I was safe from any frilly colors.

"Jane, I can just go around using the door to your room," Jordan threatened with a frown.

"That's locked," I bluffed, wondering if I could run over to my door, lock it, and run back in time to keep her from getting in.

"No, it isn't," she said, and I heard her walking over to my door that lead to the hall. I quickly locked Benedikt's hall door, then turned and bolted for the other one. Jordan was already there, grinning with her victory. I scowled and bent my legs slightly at the knees.

"You'll never take me alive!." I swore. She laughed. Finally, I couldn't take anymore. I fell down, laughing.

"Look, Jane... I couldn't get anything made for you at Sen's, since it was so unexpected. She would never have time for anything really elaborate. So... I had to get you something... from the store."

Jordan wasn't, and still isn't, a shopping addict. She just loved beautiful, unique things. She loved the happy looks on people's faces when they saw beautiful things. She loved the knowledge that no one else had something quite like what she had. And she loved it when someone else had some nice thing that she didn't have. Jordan loved variety.

So from the sound of her voice, a lot of women already had the dress she was about to put on me. I sighed and smiled.

"Ah, Jordan. I know you'd never put me in something stupid on purpose," I said. "Let me see it."

She sighed, handing me a dress wrapped in plastic. "It's got black and white, so no one looks at you funny and you don't feel uncomfortable."

I unwrapped it and examined it thoroughly. She flopped onto Benedikt's bed. She didn't care if I disliked this dress. She hadn't put any effort into it.

"I could let you borrow one of my dresses, but they're too colorful for you. And you're a bit smaller in the hip and bust, you know? That's bad if you like sharing clothes."

"Yeah," I said, pressing this dress against me and looking at myself in a full-length mirror. The dress had a white bust with button detail, and the rest of it was black, even the spaghetti straps. It would do for a wedding.

"So, do you sleep in here, now?"

I looked up, my eyes wide with surprise. Jordan's gaze wasn't really sly, just amused. "N-No! Why would you think that?"

"When I came in holding the dress, you scurried to this room, not yours. I assumed that your room wasn't really... well, used by you, as of late."

"One day," I spluttered. "And yes, it is still my room. I just thought Benedikt would be here to protect me from you."

"Ouch," she said, grinning. I turned and ignored her, staring at my reflection. Suddenly, her amused face appeared next to mine.

"I'm kidding, Jane."

"It wasn't funny."

"It was to me. I like it when I make myself laugh."
I huffed out a breath. After a moment, Jordan did too.

"Put it on, Jane. We'll be leaving soon."
She disappeared. I pulled the dress on absently, trying to not think about anything.

But Jordan and Benedikt seemed to circle in my head. It was strange, but not really unpleasant.

I remembered after Nathan left. Benedikt had sat on the bed and I had stayed standing and our lips never broke apart. And that was as far as it all went.

"You're lovely."

Conversationally, with a smile in his voice. I turned and beamed at Benedikt, who was leaning against the door frame.

"Jordan had to buy it from the store," I said. He snickered and darted to my side, his arm around my waist as he led me out the door.

"Poor Jordan," he said. "The hardships that girl endures to keep you clothed. It warms the heart."

"I know, right?" Jordan said, appearing on my other side. Ashton was behind her, and he smiled at me.

"You should see her, shoving her way through the shop," he said. "I'm sure the sales clerk needs therapy from now on."

"Look, I need what I want and--"

I smiled as the three vampires bantered all the way to the limo.

"Music, Master Benedikt?" James asked from the driver's seat. Nathan was sitting beside him, bouncing in his seat.

"I wanna touch the seat controls, I wanna touch the seat controls," he chanted. Carmen was silent, watching Nathan with a touch of envy.

"Anything," Benedikt said, leaning back and closing his eyes.

"Anything but Celine Dion," Ashton corrected. Benedikt's lips twitched.

"Yeah," he said. Jordan let out a verse of music, made lovelier by her perfect, soprano voice.

"Are you aware of what you make me feel... baby... right now I feel invisible to you, like I'm not real..." she sang. Benedikt and Ashton smiled, leaning forward to listen. Jordan glanced at me, and before I could stop, I finished the line.

"Didn't you feel me lock my arms around you? Why'd you turn away? Here's what I have to say..." I murmured. Benedikt and Ashton looked at me, and Jordan grinned, continuing.

"I was left to cry there, waiting outside there, sitting in the washed air..."

Jordan and I sang the whole ride. At the end of every song, Nathan would break into raucous applause. Millecent was looking very uncomfortable sitting next to me, occasionally twisting around to tell Nathan to quiet down, and no he could not touch the seat controls. She didn't care if he was two hundred and seventeen years old, he had the curiosity and ability to break things of an eleven year old boy. Carmen, however, was allowed to touch the seat controls. She leaned her seat back and slept most of the way, snuggled against Benedikt's side.

When we stopped in front of the old but well-preserved cathedral, I raised my eyebrows at Benedikt. He smiled.

"There's nothing religious inside," he said when I didn't smile back.

"Where's the fun in that?" Jordan asked, darting to my side with a bright smile.

"That's a nice dress," I told her, surprised. "I hadn't noticed before."

Jordan wore a hurt expression, but held her hands out to give me a better view of the dress. It was built like the one she was wearing on that first night I saw her, but instead of dragons, there were twin Phoenixes rising from flames around the hem. The background was black, but the mythical birds and their pyres were blazing red and orange. Carmen reached out and stroked the glimmering needle-work, then looked up and smiled radiantly at Jordan.

"Lovely," I said. Benedikt came up to stand beside me, resting his hand on the nape of my neck.

"Come, Jane," he said. Jordan reached out to take Ashton's hand, pulling him into the cathedral.

"Darling," she crooned happily.

I closed my eyes and smiled as we stepped inside.