Setting: Dark Pit has led the Forces of Nature to attack Angel Land without Viridi knowing. Now Dark Pit is face to face with Pit, fighting to get him out of his way so he can find and destroy Palutena once and for all. He's also fighting against time because once Viridi realizes what's going on, she'll intervene and end this revolution.
Pit is using the Violet Palm/Dark Pit is using the Viridi Claws.
*Dark Pit rides in on the Lightning Chariot and leaps off near Palutena's temple. He runs off looking for Palutena and runs into Pit who's waiting for him in front of a fountain.*
Pit: Pittoo...
Dark Pit: What'd you call me?
Pit: Tell Viridi to call off her circus act!
Dark Pit: Or what? You'll ask for a refund?
Pit: Of course not! I'll write her a stern complaint letter!
Dark Pit: Go ahead. We don't read mail anyway.
*They dramatically dash at each other for an anime clash*
[Palutena's room]
Palutena: Yawn What is that? Is Pit using the bathroom? Ughhh...This is what taco bell sauce does to you.
*Opens window and barely dodges a stray beam of energy*
Palutena: Yipe! *looks outside* Oh Gods. Viridi is not doing this. It's 6:48! If I miss the new episode of pokemon (can't think of joke)
[Pit and Dark Pit are clashing back at the fountain]
Pit: So why is Viridi attacking all of a sudden? Is she that bored?
Dark Pit: Doesn't matter why. Don't ask a murderer why they're killing you. Kill them first!
Pit: What valuable life advice. Maybe I should put it into acti- *gets elbowed*-WAHH!!
*Dark Pit roundhouse kicks Pit away*
Dark Pit: What was that? I don't speak wuss.
*Pit leans on his elbow*
Pit: oww...
Dark Pit: You hurt? Don't worry bud. Lemme get your mommy for ya.
*Dark Pit runs off to find Palutena*
[Palutena is brushing her teeth]
*Palutena drops her toothbrush in the toilet*
Palutena: ...
Palutena: NOOOO!!!!
*Uses her goddess power to levitate it out of the toilet*
Palutena: But its a limited edition goddess spin brush...I just got it last week and *sniff* and *SNIFF*...eh I'm over it. Where's Pit's toothbrush?
[Dark Pit is running through hallways doing parkour past strongarms]
*slides under a strongarm*
Dark Pit: Hmph.
Dark Pit: Not impressed.
*opens a random door*
Dark Pit: Hmph. This must be that dork's room.
*opens another door*
Dark Pit: ...wha?
*opens another door*
Dark Pit: This place creeps me out.
*Strongarms zip past and surround Dark Pit*
Strongarm Pete: Don't let him harm the Mistress!
Dark Pit: So that's where she is huh?
*shoots the ground and launches himself over the strongarms. Some strongarms try to grab his legs but he uses his wings to add a little height but ends up face planting later as a result*
Dark Pit: Ahh...
*Dark Pit gets back up and starts running*
[Palutena is singing in her hot spring while holding a picture of Bruno Mars]
Palutena: And I know she'll be the death of me, at least we'll both be numb. And she'll always get the best of me, the worst is yet to come. But at least we'll both be beautiful and stay forever young. sigh *looks at a picture of The Weeknd* Someday...
[Dark Pit fights his way though some strongarms and gets punched...alot]
Dark Pit: Learn how to quit! Did you trade your brains for muscle mass!?
*Gets punched into a wall*
Sergeant Pete: WHAT NOW PUNK!?
Dark Pit: Grr...
*Dark Pit slowly and painfully stands up*
Dark Pit: I guess I have no choice...
*Throws his hand upwards*
Dark Pit: Invisibility!
*All the nearby strongarms start to move in to trap him but Dark Pit escapes and punches Sergeant Pete on his way out*
Strongarm Roland: Serg!
[Viridi is watching pokemon and is alerted that Dark Pit just used a power]
Viridi: Huh? What the? Who just used my power...?
*Viridi checks the barracks. They're empty. She checks Dark Pit's room. She realizes what's happening*
Viridi: So that's it huh? I better get an apology letter asap.
[Palutena is finally out of the shower with towels covering her body and hair]
*Palutena proceeds to start changing but Dark Pit barges in*
Palutena: Hey! I just took a shower!
Dark Pit: That explains it. You smell lovely.
Palutena: Why thank you. Now get out before I obliterate you!
Dark Pit: No way. If I kill you now that insufferable wimp won't be a threat anymore.
Palutena: Is that what Viridi sent you here to do?
Dark Pit: Why does everyone assume all I do is take orders from that bratty goddess!? I serve no other but myself! I'm the original Pit. Now stay still so I can make it official.
*Pit tackles Dark Pit*
Pit: Lady Palutena! Get outta here!
Dark Pit: Gah! *shoots at Palutena*
Palutena: Warp!
*Palutena warps into her bathroom and the charge shot destroys the wall she was standing in front of*
Dark Pit: You little pest! You ruin everything!
Pit: Did I come at a bad time?
*They wrestle for a bit until the strongarms show up to assist*
Viridi: That's enough Dark Pit.
Dark Pit: Huh?
Pit: Is that you Viridi?
Dark Pit: Wait! I'm so close!
Viridi: Quit lying to yourself. Next time you pull this stunt, I'm eating your wings for lunch. Got it?
*Viridi extracts Dark Pit and calls back her army. Pit faceplants and Palutena comes out of her bathroom*
Pit: We did it Lady Palutena!
*Palutena points at the hole in her room wall*
Palutena: Really Pit?
*distant view of a destroyed angel land*
Palutena: Really?
YOU ARE READING
Kid Icarus Reference
FantasyAngel boy Pit vs the forces of nature vs the god of lightning Sounds fun right?
