New York New York

Mackenzie ... 1

I heard beeps, the shuffle of feet, quiet voices. I could smell something like vanilla, and some kind of soap. Not the scented type, the kind that just smelled fresh. Maybe it was just the smell of my clean blankets. This was normal.

But I felt someone above me. Someone stroking my head, my messy hair. It was comforting, but I was also worried, not know who this person was. I'm not saying they were a stranger, they could be a part of my family, but even then, I probably wouldn't recognize them. Not with the brain damage I had, at least.

I didn't remember my family, or my fiends. Nothing. I could try, and think as hard as possible, but for the life of me, I couldn't even remember my own name. All I knew, was I was in the hospital, and only one person cared enough to be here whenever I drifted in and out of consciousness. I just didn't know who that person was, or how I knew them.

Doctors rushed in the room as they realized I was awake, hustling to try to keep me that way. I felt myself starting to drift back to sleep. Knowing I would soon be unconscious, I couldn't try to fight it.

The room fell silent, someone took a deep breath in, and I was lost, again.

*****************

I heard beeps, the shuffle of feet, quiet voices. I could smell something like vanilla, and some kind of soap. Not the scented type, the kind that just smelled fresh. Maybe it was just the smell of my clean blankets. It was an absolute sense of deja vu. Not just the I've-experienced-this-before feeling, but the -I've-been-through-this-many-times feeling.

I Tried to sit up, feeling dizzy. I tried to look around the room, but I could hardly move. All the cords connecting me to machines, the needles shoved in my arms, they were restricting me.

It hurt to breath, yet at the same time, it felt good. I knew there was a machine that had been helping me with that, but now, I felt I could do it on my own. Just like eating. I'd had feeding tubes connected to me, but now, I was hungry. I wanted something to eat, something solid. I wanted to walk around, and to talk to people. Anyone at all. I wanted to have life back. Not just sleeping, waking up once in a blue moon, seeing, hearing, smelling or feeling very few things, just to find myself asleep again. Life with freedom, movement, excitement; life outside this hospital.

I was starting to remember things. I knew where I was, I could remember that this wasn't the first time I'd woken up. I still couldn't remember many important things, but it felt amazing just to know where I was.

I remembered someone had been here, with me, another time I'd woken up. Not a doctor, someone else. Where were they now? I glanced around the little hospital room, barely able to move. I didn't see anyone, until doctors and nurses scrambled in.

I don't know how they knew I was awake, or how they planned on keeping me awake, but they knew. They knew how, and they were going to help me. One nurse stood directly over me, she started asking me questions. She said them slowly, but the still seemed too fast, for me at least.

Could I hear her? What's my name? Where was I from? Where was I now? How old was I? Could I talk? She spit them all at me, and I didn't answer.

I looked at her and lightly said, "I'm in the hospital, I can't remember."

A few of the doctors smiled, this was the first time I remembered talking in all the times I woke up, and that seemed to be a good thing.

"We're losing her again!" One nurse screamed, I think she was the same one who'd asked me all the questions.

My eyes tried to shut, but I couldn't let them. I kicked my legs, trying to move around as much as possible. I didn't want to sleep again.

"She's back!" The same voice yelled.

******************

I don't know what happened, but those doctors saved me.

They told me I was in a coma, and have been for almost two years. They told me I wouldn't remember a whole lot, but that I would start to, and if I was lucky, everything would come back to my memory.

I hoped I would be lucky, I hoped I would remember everything that happened before whatever put me into the coma. I really wanted to know what it was that put me into the coma, how I got to the hospital, everything. I wanted to know everything.

I was resting in the hospital bed, still hooked on the many machines, as a precaution I was guessing.

"Mrs. Adams?" I heard a doctor say.

I guess I should have figured he was talking to me, but I didn't even know it was my last name that he said. I mean, I'd just been told today my name. Well, reminded is more like it. But the name shouldn't be too hard to remember.

"Mrs. Adams? Mackenzie?" I turned.

"I'm sorry, I didn't-"

"Not a problem, my fault. I forgot for a moment, "Wait , I-" I laughed.

"No, I forgot." We both laughed.

"How are you feeling Macknzie? Feeling tired?"

"A bit," I admitted, but I didn't think they would want me to sleep yet. The doctor confirmed that idea. He started to tell me about what could happen, risks they dont want to take, and other stuff. He also told me I might want to talk to a therapist, that it might help me to remember, or to at least understand. He also started to tell me about going home. Though I didn't know where exactly that was....

"Home?" I asked.

"Yes, you don't have to stay here forever, Mackenzie. But we can't just release you, someone will have to come get you."

"Who will that be? Does anyone know where I'm at? I don't even know where I'm at!" I started speaking faster than most people probably could keep up with, slurring my words together in a rush to get them out.

"Mr. Adams, of course," she patted my shoulder, "Your brother."