Everything I Could Never Tell You [l.t] -COMPLETED-

November 2011

"The kids at school made you a card." I smiled setting the card next to the book. "My little sisters signed it too."

Once again, there is no response.

"I asked the doctor and he said that it's possible that you can hear me." I pause. "I really hope you can hear me."

I take a deep breath. "I might just be wasting my time with this if you can't actually hear me, but i'm going to give it a shot."

"I saw your scars. I saw your cuts and burns. I didn't say anything because I figured that if you had a problem, you would talk to me about it. I was too scared to tell a counselor because I was afraid that you would never talk to me again." I pause. "And I couldn't bear that. I didn't want to lose you but..."

I laugh at myself. "I lost you anyways... I was the one who came to your house and found you barely breathing on the bathroom floor. I saw your deep cuts with blood everywhere. I called 911 and tried to keep you awake but I didn't know what to do. I thought -surely- you didn't do that to yourself...surely you didn't kill yourself."

Emotions churn inside me. "Why didn't tell me you weren't okay?! Why did you want to leave me?! Why would you leave me?! Did you think that it wouldn't affect me at all?? How could you think for a second that you don't mean the world to me?"