Plus One

Part 3 - Whatever This Is

As amazing as sex with Tom is – and oh God it is, toe-curling amazing – what happens after is almost as great. So many guys either cuddle reluctantly for five minutes or shy away from any holding all together before they can't wait to get their pants back on and high-tail it out. With him, though, it's different. He's happy to snuggle – in fact, he insists on it – and damn, he's amazing at that too. Long arms pull you close enough to hear the thudding of his heart, legs tangle together so you know he's not going to let you go any time soon, hands absently caress whichever parts of you they can reach, while soft, warm kisses are bestowed on hair, forehead, nose and – if you tilt your face at the right time – even lips. In fact, Tom's after-play is just as intoxicating as his foreplay.

Which only makes this more difficult than it already is. Because this – whatever this is that we've been doing for the last four weeks – is about to end.

"I leave for the tour the day after tomorrow," he said as we lay tangled in my sheets. My head was on his chest as I happily inhaled the unique scent of him, my eyes half closed, fingers idly tracing the outline of his impressive abs. Moonlight flooded the room, elongated shadows dancing on the wall opposite us, cast by the limbs of the ancient tree outside as it was buffeted by a feisty breeze.

"Okay." And just like that – even though I knew it was coming, even though I'd been steeling myself for this moment – still my world tilted on its axis and for a second I wasn't sure which way was up.

"I'm not sure what to do."

Mentally, I took a deep, fortifying breath. "It's pretty straightforward Tom; you pack some clothes in a suitcase, catch a cab to the airport then get on a big jet plane and it'll carry you all around the world."

"I meant about you; about us." Ah. I see. "It's a frantically busy tour; Luke's packed in so many interviews and appearances I'll be lucky if I find time to eat and sleep. It's going to be difficult to stay in touch." I presumed this was his brush-off line; Tom-speak for 'thanks for the fun, see you later.' I closed my eyes briefly, thankful beyond measure that he couldn't see my face.

"Why would you need to stay in touch? You want to swap war stories?" I patted his chest. "It's okay, we both knew this had a finite time limit. It was fun, that's all."

The hand that had been hypnotically caressing my bare ass stilled and muscles beneath me tensed. His body language indicated...anger? No, that can't be right. "Fun. Yes, of course." Two excruciatingly quiet minutes later he extricated his limbs and began pulling on clothes.

"You're going now?" I hugged the blankets close, suddenly cold.

"Yes." There was a definite tenseness to his body and I wondered what I'd done wrong. Made it too easy for him? Boxers, pants and shirt were all replaced in silence.

"Okay. Well, I guess I'll see you in May."

He froze, as if he'd forgotten we'd be working together once he got back. When he nodded I couldn't help noticing that his eyes hadn't met mine. Boy, he really needed to work on his exit strategy. I had to admit I'd expected something better, something...kinder.

While he gathered his things I got up, throwing on sweatpants and a hoodie and quickly tying my hair on top of my head then wandered out to the kitchen to switch on the coffee machine. I was renting this place furnished but had brought my own espresso machine – that baby was my best friend and I never travelled without it if I was going for any length of time. By the time I'd set it up, Tom was standing by the door, a closed expression on his face and giving off the vibe that he couldn't wait to get out of here, which of course made me feel just peachy.

"So..." I began, wondering how to get this back on an even keel.

"Goodbye Sam. Take care of yourself." He seemed to hesitate for a second then leaned down and gave me a cool peck on the cheek.