542 Words

Chapter 8

I wake up from my dream, blankets pooled around me, and push away the strands of hair that are stuck to my face. Pulling away the blankets from my body, I sit up and almost immediately fall back over. The strong ache in my forehead tells me today will be an easy day. Great.

Sitting up, slower this time, I swing my legs over the edge of the bed and stand up. Stumbling into the kitchen, I hear my phone ding. Trudging over to the couch where I last left it, I turned the screen on to see 6 missed messages. 3 from Evelyn, 2 from Alec, and 1 from Ryan. Ryan. That name feels so foreign to say. I text Evy, and tell her I will be over to sort out everything with Ryan and Jacob.

Going over to the coffee pot, I start to put the coffee in the machine, only to find a note.

Grace,

I don't even know where to start. I'm so so sorry for putting you through all the trauma. I just seem to be a roller coaster that is plummeting down with every move I make. I seem to sweep everyone who is close to me into that downfall. I feel like I'm standing on a bridge, watching the beautiful sunset go down, but never to return to me. You are the beautiful sunset. Will you ever come back to me?

I don't know how to explain things to you. God, it feel like ages since I have just been able to tell you everything. Even just hold you in my arms. I'm sorry again, I've probably made things worse by coming back, but I just had to see my beautiful sunset again even if it's from afar.

I hope you can forgive me sometime soon, because I want to be able to laugh with you, be the one that makes you laugh. Not the one that makes you cry. I understand if you can't and you don't want to ever see me again, but just please consider it.

I still love you, Grace.
Ryan

I reread the note, my hands shaking while I do. He still loves me? He thinks he can just barge back into my life and say he still loves me? I scoff, but deep down on the inside, I know my anger is melting slowly. I crumple up the note ready to throw it in the trash bin, but then I stop my hand hand outstretched. I open the note up and I sigh. At least it was a start.

I place the note on the kitchen counter and go over to the coffee machine, because damn, I need my coffee. I turn the Keurig machine on and instantly the smell of coffee hits my nose.

A sound of a knock resonates on my door. Glancing at the clock I notice it's only 8:30. Who would be up at 8:30? Oh wait, me. I get to my door and look out the peephole. I suck in a breath. Ryan stands outside my door. His back his to me, so he didn't see my eye peek out the peephole. I turn around and do one of those cliche slides down the door. Do I let him in? I could just pretend that I'm asleep. I mean he would never know.

Just at that moment he rings the doorbell again and I jump, startled at the noise. My back bangs on the door and now it's obvious I am there. Sighing, I casually fix my hair in the mirror by the door, because a girl's got to look good even if it's for her ex-boyfriend who is supposedly dead, but didn't tell her his actual plan about not being dead, and he apparently still loves her.

I open the door and put on a smile.

"Hi Ryan", I force out, awkwardly still grinning.

"Hey Grace", He said straightening up and giving me a lopsided grin. "I just wanted to come and check up on you."

I coughed awkwardly turning my head to the side, blushing. Damn it, Gracie. You're acting like a pathetic little school girl.

I face Ryan again and smile at him, I can see the concern in his eyes.

"Are you alright?" He asked worry lacing his tone?

"Oh I just have the beginnings of a cold." I lie curtly.

"It's nothing bad. I'm sure I'll get over it soon." I hastily add after seeing the concern he shows.

"Did you get enough sleep? Did you eat and drink enough? Do you want me to make you some soup?"

Oh would you look at that. I think to myself. He's actually acting like a concerned boyfriend. If only he actually did that when we were actually dating.

"I'm fine Ryan." I say a bit harshly, and I can see the hurt in his eyes.

"Oh. Okay. I guess I'll just go then." He said numbly. As he walked down the sidewalk to his car, I walked back inside and was about to close the door until I heard something. I turned around and saw Ryan crying in the drivers seat. He was mumbling so badly I couldn't understand what he as saying. I was able to pick up a sentence, and it broke my heart and the walls I had carefully constructed around it.

"Just know I still love you, Gracie."