Traveling the Unknown

Conner

The person I cared most for in this world and really the only person I cared about period, was my best friend Conner. Conner was one of those people that I never expected to fall for, it just happened out of the blue. I remember those times where I use to laugh like crazy when anyone would accuse me of liking him when I'd wear his hoodies when I got cold.  I thought it was the most funniest thing. I mean, don't get me wrong, I have always thought Conner was a great looking guy because in all seriousness he had it all; the looks, the height, and even the outstanding personality. I didn't realize that I had even liked him till summer came along. We ended up talking 24/7. We became addicted to each other and we didn't even notice. We would have six hour long calls and texted each other every minute of everyday. I remember one night talking from ten aclock at night till sunrise. It was the most amazing feeling ever. How could you talk to someone so much without getting tired of them? This was all new to me. I've never yearned to be around someone. It would make me sad if I didn't get to see him for one day. My mood began to revolve around his. If he was upset then my day was ruined because I suddenly became upset too. It was the weirdest thing, just thinking about it makes my spine tingle. I was completely comfortable with him. I was never embarrassed or felt odd around him, even when I first told him that I liked him and he said nothing back; there was no awkwardness. He was my best friend and he never looked at me differently no matter what happened or what I shared with him. When we dated I was the happiest girl in the world, grinning ear to ear. And when we broke up, I thought it would change things for the worse but in the end, only made us closer. Anything I went through, he went through with me. When I finally decided to tell him about my self harming, he just looked at me with his soft hazel eyes.. Told me I was still beautiful and that he didn't quite understand how I could do this to myself. That almost sent me into tears.  I loved him and hell, I still do. When he first told me, "I love you," I was automatically put into shock. He had never said it to another girl before. I was the first. I didn't know what to do. But what I did know is that no matter what came my way, he would always be my sturdy rock to lean on. There was something about Conner that just seemed to lighten my day even when I was down. I don't know if it was his glistening smile or when he would come up and kiss me on my check when I was in distress. He just had an innocence to himself that I felt no one could ever touch or change. He was always himself. He was full of surprises and that's just what I loved about him.