Stuck Stuck (RECONSTRUCTING)

Two- Park

PARK'S POV.

I smile at a girl across the club, taking in how easy she'd be to get alone...

Sometimes I imagine actually going through with my thoughts, doing the unthinkable and waking up in the morning after. It seems like just talk, what I say to hold me over until I fight the urge the next time.

"Can I buy you a drink?" I hear a voice ask. I turn on my stool and see a younger woman standing there, she had to just be 21. 

"Depends." I say with a flirty grin. "What's your intentions?" She looks at me a little puzzled then mimicks my smile, clearly too dumb to understand my come-on.

"Just looking for a birthday present." She says seductively.

I all but rolled my eyes, I hadn't been with many women and this was why; The ones I have come across with the apportunity always strike me as mentally retarded, and I don't want to be responible if she reproduces. These girls all seem to think lowering their voices into a husky pant and twirling their hair makes them so desirable.

"Oh, how old are you?" I'm making conversation, but I have no intention to go anywhere with this girl.

"Just turned 20, shhh. I'm in here with a fake." She winks and I laugh at her. She seems to think it's because I find her funny, which is sad. 

"Sorry, hun." I don't give her anything else and turn back around, not wanting to take this conversation any farther. I hear her make a shocked noise and stay put, not moving from her spot. It takes her awhile, but finally she takes the hint and leaves. 

I search for the previous girl I was looking for, but she's no-where to be seen. I sigh and put my glass down, bored of this place already. Off it is then.

When I get outside of the club I realize just how cold it's gotten lately, I really should invest in someone's jacket.

"Hey!" 

I stop in my tracks and see a bum running towards me. This wasn't good, especially being alone here where no one will see-I don't trust myself. I steer my path diagonally and hope to out pace him, but he's gaining on me.

Just let me get into the public eye. I think.

He yells once more and too soon I notice his voice is right behind me.

"Hey man, I was just wondering if you had some change? I need to call my family and let them know I'm going to give rehab a try." he grunts. I didn't ask why he felt the need to share this with me, but I couldn't help but believe him. He reaked of 'hope' and 'pride', it was written all over his face, along with that stupid smile.

I dig in my pocket and pull out whatever my fingers grasp just to make him go away, he takes it and runs off toward the payphone across the street. Annoyed with this whole encounter I cross my arms and start walking again, not heading anywhere particular. I didn't have anywhere to go.

It seems like just a month ago I left home, when really it's been close to five years. I was 15 and had gotten tired of the abuse I'd suffered through, from the yells and screams, to the rapes and punches. I finally stood up for myself and left.

'Fuck you.' I remember spitting. 'You think your precious God wants hypocritical bitches like you in Heaven?!' I spat at the floor in front of my mother. She stood very still, her face darkening to the. deepest shade I had ever saw it. Then, she was a blur, I didn't have time to react before her fingers were around my throat. She had shook me back and forth, pushing so hard I thought my wind-pipe would snap in half.

"You little bastard!" She had screeched. I clutched at her fingers, trying to pry myself free, the more I struggled the more she tightened. It was like fighting a snake, just go limp. I slumped over, trying my best to get as much air as I could discreetly. She had held on for a few more seconds then dropped me to the ground.