Fourth Floor

Apartment #409

"Dude, I've been hearing her cry all day long. It's quite depressing, to be honest."

"Just go talk to her."

"But she doesn't even know me!"

"She lives across the hall to you."

"Just because we're neighbors doesn't mean she actually knows who I am."

"You stalk her and watch her board the school bus every weekday."

"The entire purpose of stalking is that the other person doesn't realize you're doing it. And I don't stalk her. I just...observe."

"Come on. She's going through a breakup. Be 'there for her in her time of need'. I bet you anything she'll be in love with you two days later."

"She's not that kinda girl -"

"Or she'll say how much she appreciates your help and care and what a great friend you are."

"Shut up, man. You ain't helping."

"Look. If you really like her that much, just go up there, ring her doorbell and talk to her."

"What if she doesn't answer? Or what if she does answer and then slams the door in my face?"

"You've read about situations like these in most of those books you're always reading. Figure out something to do."

"But -"

"You know what? I don't got the patience for that."

[Sounds of shuffling feet and cries of protest.]

"Man, you weigh a ton."

"Stop pushing me!"

"Then grow a pair and talk to her!"

"Fine, I will!"

"You will?"

"I will! Right now!"

"..."

"..."

"..."

"I mean..."

"..."

"..."

"Well, this'll be fun to watch."