I Almost Lost You

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    John worries. Lord, does John worry.
    He sits on his couch, his whole body shaking. He vaguely hears Martha comforting him, but it doesn't stop the tears from welling up in his eyes. He's so glad that his father isn't home.
    Men don't cry. You weren't like this before you got that stupid boyfriend. What kind of dumbass gets into a fight over slavery? That shit ended years ago. Suck it up, Jack. So what? If he dies, you'll finally be done with all that gay bullcrap.
    John chokes out a sob as his father's words come back to him and he collapses in Martha's arms.
    "Jacky, it's going to be okay. You just have a few days left here. Alexander's going to be alright. And Dad's going to be gone for the most part!"
    "How do you know he's going to be okay?" John snaps, curling up into a ball. "What if Dad's right? Martha, I-I can't fuckin' do this!"
    Martha simply sighs and pets John's hair. John just wants Alex to be okay. He can't believe that he let Alexander get hurt. Those racist assholes from the bar weren't being any worse than usual, from what he heard.  But Alex was drunk and it was his fault Alex was drunk because he wouldn't stop complaining about his stupid dad and was ignoring Alexander to pack for the stupid trip and of _course_ he had already arrived at the stupid house when he got the call from Lafayette!
    It hurts Martha that she can't help. It hurts Henry Jr. and James to hear their older brother crying so hard. And poor little Mary doesn't have a clue as to what's going on, she just knows that Martha told her to stay with Henry and James.
    John is terrified. It's been two days without contact and he still has four days left. What if Alexander is dead? What if Hercules and Lafayette are dead to? What if they're all dead? What if they faked it and just don't want to deal with him anymore? Alexander probably blames him for the injuries. He blames himself too. He'll probably come home and everyone will be gone. His dad is right. There's a vague thumping noise and Martha leaves. Probably the door. James must've ordered pizza or something. John just sits there and stares at the dark spots on the pillow.
    Men don't cry.
    Martha's voice drifts through the room. "Jacky, you have a visitor!"
    John tries to think of who would visit him and draws a blank. He sits up and holds a pillow close to my chase, quickly wiping his eyes and squinting at the living room entrance. He nearly has a heart attack when he sees who it is.
    "Alex!" John screams and jumps off of the couch, almost falling over. "Alexander!" Oh. There go the tears again. He nearly tackles Alexander to the ground, but stops, noticing the crutches. "Oh, no, babygirl, are you okay?"
    Alexander just laughs lightly. "I'm fine, I'm fine. Did you know that I now have a rod in my left knee? And did you know that it takes longer to heal from that surgery than it is from abdominal stab wounds?" he asks, making his way to the couch. "Nice house." Alex flashes his signature grin at John, and John feels his heart melting.
    John can vaguely hear footsteps up the stairs. Probably Martha. John sits down by Alex and very carefully wraps his arms around him. He feels another sob shake through him and he does his best not to squeeze Alexander too tightly. "I almost lost you," he whispers into his boyfriend's shoulder. "Alexander, I love you so much. I'm sorry. I love you."
    Alex chuckles softly. "Baby, I was in the hospital for two days! Slept most of today, Laf woke me up and told me they bought plane tickets, and now I'm here!" he says with a large smile.
    John can't help but laugh. Maybe he was being a bit silly, but everyone knows how Alexander brushes off his injuries. Either way, he's still so glad that Alex is here because that means he'll get hugs and kisses and he might convince him to leave early and maybe, just maybe, it'll all turn out okay.

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⏰ Last updated: May 17, 2016 ⏰

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