I read the letter and I read it again. I felt pathetic. I didn't want to hurt Blue, but in the long run, didn't he hurt me more? I loved him and it didn't matter. It never mattered. I thought about our small but happy group back then.
We all thought that we knew what we wanted. But things changed and so did we. Blue and I told ourselves that we just had to get past high school, then we could start a life together. Of course, I feel like our hopes were one sided. Blue and I never had a chance back then, and now, I just can't find it in my heart to forgive him. How do you forgive heartbreak?
He was trying his best to try to make it up to me, but part of me just didn't care. I know that he regrets hurting me. But in all honesty, it shouldn't matter to me. I am with Liam, and I am in love with him I might add.
Blue was going to have to understand that I was trying to move on from him. It had taken enough damn time. Liam had been so understanding, and it was time for me to treat him like I loved him. Which I did. I glanced back down at Blue's letter. Back while we were dating, I would underline every 'I love you' in red. Now, there would be no underlining. Instead, I pulled out my favorite pen, and started writing.
Steps
1.) Single her out. Become her friend. Be there for her when nobody else is. Become a slight mystery. Start calling her your best friend. Tag her in pictures on Facebook. Write short stories with her. Tell her every guy isn't good enough for her.
2.) Spend as much time as possible with her. Text her all day, everyday. Notice how she responds to you. Meet her family. Bring up your feelings, but don't tell her that it's her you feel that way for. Instead, tell her she will understand when the stars are aligned.
3.) When she looks at you, stare into her eyes until you can see a blush forming on her cheeks. Tell her you have thought about going against everything you know, just to be with her. Tell her that she's so beautiful, and let her sleep in your arms. Most importantly, let her think that she's in charge.
4.) Give her something that means a lot to you. Ask her to be yours. Kiss her like you mean it. Play with her hair. Send her long, sweet messages about how perfect she is. Tell her lies about how you want her to be the only one forever. Make her fall hard and fast for you. When she asks what changed, tell her that she changed you for the better. Kiss her... Kiss her... Kiss her.
5.) Become distant. Don't laugh, don't give her that loving look like you used to when she ran her fingertips over your arm. Every once in a while, take a quick glance at her. She should be breaking. When she asks if you are okay, say these exact words. " I'm not ready. I thought I was, but I'm not. I'm sorry." Then leave without looking at her. Do you feel that? You have broken the girl.
"Writing that must've been hard," Liam said distractedly as he read my written words a few days later.
"Actually, it really helped, more than I thought it would. Thank you Liam, I love you so much." I responded before kissing him. It had been a while since I had last kissed him, or even hugged him for that matter. Between work and spending time with my Grandparents, I never had enough spare time to spend with Liam.
After we both had our breath back, he began to speak, but I shushed him.
"Bella... I have the most recent letter from Blue, and I wanted to read it to you. That might be weird, but please just try to go along with it."
"I don't think that I even want to know what he has to say," I pouted.
"Please Bella, for me. I know that it's a bit odd of me to ask this of you, but I think you really need to see this. Or hear it at least."
I sighed a long dramatic sigh.
"Fine. If it makes you feel better about things. But then we are going on a date that I have planned because it's been such a long time since we have gone out and had fun. I know this whole Blue thing has been taking its toll on the both of us, and we need a break. So I'll promise to sit here nicely and listen to you read this letter, but only if you promise that we don't talk about him at all during our date tonight."
"Bella, I swear to you, tonight will be about us, and only us. Now I'm going to read this, okay?"
"Okay."
And he began to read.
Dear Bella,
I'm home. This town isn't the same without you here. It has almost been a year since the last time I saw you. I'm sorry I left like that, I knew you needed me, and I just left. I went by your house to see if you were visiting your parents or friends, but you weren't there. I had lunch with your mom, she told me how you said that you were never coming back, that the memories were too much. I'm sorry for that Bella. I didn't mean to ruin this town for you. If it helps, the memories haunt me too. She told me that you were getting my letters, just not responding. That's okay, I understand. If I was in your shoes, I would hate me too. I was thinking about going to Harrison to visit you, but I wanted to at least give you a warning before I showed up. If I did the math correctly, by the time you get this letter, I'll be packing and getting ready to go. Your grandparents know that I'll be showing up to see you, I hope that you're okay with it. I'll be seeing you soon Bella. As always, I love you.
Love Blue
