Wildflower

Chapter one

Stones audibly crunched under my boots as I scooted forward a little, trying to get a better view of my subject through the tall grass. Long antlers curved upwards and balanced gracefully atop his strong head; eyes glistening and ears alert. I watched closely as he made his way over to an oak tree and began roughly scratching against the base of the trunk. I remembered my dad telling me when I was little how the deer remove the velvet from their antlers during breeding season, but it's quite a while before the season even begins. My thoughts shifted to how my dad always wanted me to be good at hunting, but even from a young age, I was more intrigued by the deer's delicate movements and beauty than hunting them.  My fingers carefully slid under the lens of my camera, zooming in on his moistened nose and muscular face. I felt the familiar piece of duct-tape from the bottom of my camera brush my hand as I held it steady. The plastic door that keeps my battery inside had cracked years ago, and I replace the tape every couple months or so, but it always seems to peel off quickly. If I'm being honest, I should probably just replace the whole camera soon, but it was a birthday present from my mom. I've had it since I was thirteen, and it was my very first nice camera. I ripped off the red balloon wrapping paper, basically pulled the whole box apart, and found Chester, my brand new camera at the bottom, cushioned by bubble wrap that I'm sure I popped later on. I remember being so excited and seeing my mom smile ear to ear. That was the year she was about to be diagnosed with cancer. I wish I would've known that Chester would be the last normal present from my mom. Not notes for me to open as I grow up without her by my side, or items of hers that she wanted to pass down to me. Maybe that's part of the reason Chester means so much to me and I won't let myself replace him. I realized that I was starting to spiral into my thoughts again, as I often do, so I blinked hard a few times until my eyes and Chester refocused on the deer. He seemed peaceful, his breathing visibly calm and quiet. Then, almost as fast as lightning strikes the earth, the deer's head had jerked up, looked in my general direction, and fled from my vision. Without another second to waste, I quickly snapped a few photographs, but I already knew I wouldn't be too fond of the outcome. I wondered what could have made the deer run off like that. I knew that I had successfully stayed quiet, despite how itchy the grass made my skin or how much my legs burned from staying in a squatted position for so long. However, my answer came stumbling out of the trees and bounding towards me. It was my unbalanced, nature-challenged best friend Ruben. His hair looked messier than normal, which is really saying something since he rarely brushes out his long wavy hair. 

"Hey Elliot! I know you told me to stay by the car and all, but honestly man, I swear I saw a bear back there," he loudly announced while swinging his arms aimlessly in the air. "And just for the record, how the heck do you get any decent pictures out here? I mean really, there are bugs everywhere! And don't even get me started on all the sketchy noises coming out of these trees. I think something screamed at me on my way over here."

I narrowed my eyes at him. "I was actually doing just fine with my camera until someone decided that they had to burst through the woods like some crazed wild man. You know, I was so close to getting the perfect-" my words were cut short due to Ruben's incessant speaking. "Okay dude, I'm sorry I ruined your shot. But for real, we seriously need to leave. It's going to get dark soon, and I don't really feel like getting lost out here at night. It's bad enough in the daylight." Ruben had an unhealthy fear of the woods, as well as the dark. He also had a tendency to ruin amazing photo opportunities, although always unintentional. Aside from being the same age, we've always been quite the opposite of each other. He's never understood my fascination with photography, especially when it involves being outside (which is my favorite place to shoot). I've never understood his strange obsession with the television show "Dr. Phil", or how he somehow relates almost everything I say back to an episode he's watched. Nonetheless, our friendship has stayed strong for years and we accept the other person's quirks.  Ruben was the only person outside of my family that was really there for me through my mom's cancer journey. He used to play a game with me when I would start spiraling over my mom's sickness and obsess over all the parts of my future that she would miss out on. He would tell me to close my eyes and envision my mom standing next to me during each milestone of my future, then I had to describe it out loud to him so he knew I was really doing it. Being that I was only thirteen at the time and just barely beginning the process of coping with my mom's expected death, the game would help me feel better each time. It helped me create a world in my head where my mom could always live on- one where she would attend my upcoming high school graduation, holidays, and my next birthday, when she can hand me a new camera to replace Chester. It's a game that I still let myself play sometimes, although I've learned it's not always helpful. Ruben knows me though, and he knows that sometimes I don't need exactly what makes the most sense, I just need what will give me comfort for a few moments. I'm thankful for his friendship, no matter how many differences we may have or how many photos of mine he ruins.