Begin Again

Chapter 3

Leah always slept well since moving into Clark's apartment. It was true that during the past two years that persistent 'namamahay' feeling followed her wherever she went and she always thought that it was just homesickness for the Philippines and her family. But now she knows without a doubt that it was Clark's absence in her bed and in her life that had made her restless, sleepless, and just generally longing for something that she couldn't name. He was her home and even when he was at his grumpiest and coldest, sleeping beside him was better than sleeping alone.

Another week passed and Leah and Clark were starting to fall into an easy rhythm. Things were busy at the office but as much as possible Leah tried to be home by dinner time. The biggest adjustment Leah had to make was learning to delegate. She was so used to doing everything herself, she was the right hand woman and often did the things Simon didn't have either the time or inclination for. In Dubai and in San Francisco she did all of her duties and more, never stopping to breathe or think. She had poured everything into her work, because the less time she spent alone in her empty apartment, the better. Now she had something to look forward to at the end of the day, someone to go home to again. And Leah had to show Clark and herself that she could do this balance. Leah was learning to rely on the capabilities of her Creative Directors and copywriters, giving them the bulk of the work and the late nights, like what Simon used to do to her. This freed her up to give some of her time to Clark and the household chores, and though he never said anything and he still tried to avoid her most of the time, Leah could tell that he appreciated it. At least she hoped he did.

Leah just couldn't understand what has come over her. She felt like a schoolgirl with a crush again. She got butterflies in her stomach whenever she thought of Clark, she was excited to go home and see him, even when he was being 'masungit.' Leah has realized just how much she missed seeing Clark everyday. It was like she couldn't get enough of him. Sometimes she would even sit on the stairs of the shop and watch him work. The movement of the muscles in his arms and back while he did his woodwork and the way sweat would drip down his face and neck did things to her. Sometimes he would even work shirtless and Leah could barely stand the heat it brought to her body, the desire coursing through her veins. She remembered the night in Tahoe vividly and what surely would have happened had they not been interrupted. It also brought memories of nights they spent in each other's arms back then, the heated make out sessions that went far but not too far. Leah has never regretted not going all the way more than in the two years she spent without Clark. He was her husband and he had deserved to have all of her, her soul and her body. Now he was in front of her again and she couldn't touch him. It was complete and utter torture.

It was also starting to affect her dreams. Even after two weeks of living with Clark, Leah couldn't explain why she slept so well and so deeply. It was like there was a warmth that surrounded her every night. Leah felt so safe and secure, like nothing in the world could harm her in her sleep. She hasn't felt that way since she started sleeping wrapped up in Clark's arms after their real engagement. Sometimes Leah could swear she smells him all around her, and she could feel the warmth of his body again, but when she wakes up the other side of the bed is always empty. But last night was different and, even in the middle of reading emails at work, Leah blushed hard as she remembered her dream.

"Clark?" Leah wandered down the staircase, not seeing her husband at his usual workspace. She walked around the shop but the door to his office was open and it was empty. She wondered if Clark had gone out to run errands without telling her and was just about to text him angrily when she heard a hammering noise coming from the back room.

Leah pushed open the door with the 'Authorized Personnel Only – Do Not Enter' sign. This was the warehouse area where they did the heavy and messy woodwork. Leah walked around the tall piles of wood and the unfinished furniture pieces, following the hammering noise through the maze.