Lovely Chaos ∣ book one

TWELVE : stupid testosterone

.:Stupid Testosterone:.

"The Fallen declared war?" Castiel questioned after Dean explained way happened. Laying on the couch with an ice pack on my head, I groaned and covered my eyes.

"Guys, I have the worst headache in history right now, so can we talk about The Fallen some other time and have nice peace and quiet now?" I snapped.

"No can do sis. Castiel, take Is upstairs and put her in bed. When you come back down we will discuss what to do next." Castiel gave a curt nod and came near me at the couch.

"Carry me." I whined. Castiel chuckled softly and listened to my request. Castiel picked me up much like a bridal style and carried my upstairs to my room. Setting me gently on the squeaky bed, he stood up to leave. "No," I mumbled as I felt drowsiness start to fill my body. My small, cold hand wrapped around his solid, tense forearm. "Sit with me." I tugged at his arm and he slowly sat on the edge of the bed next to me. "Wait until I fall asleep." I nudged Castiel slightly so he would lay down on his back.

Castiel acted almost nervous to be so close to me. Wanting his radiating body heat closer to me, I wrapped my slim arms around Castiel's frame. His trench coat shifted against itself as my hands closed together on his right hip. His whole body tensed at my touch. It seemed like my presence was unsettling to him, which was odd since I had the opposite affect from him.

I tucked my head into the hollow on his side. Hot air passed through his lips seemingly unnoticeable, but that's a sign that he's uncomfortable and slightly confused. I know my Cas. "What's wrong?" I lifted my head so I could see him clearly.

"Nothing." He muttered. Sighing, I shifted so I was facing him.

"Cas.."

"I'm getting mixed signals." Castiel stated simply.

"From me?" He nodded his head and I gestured for him to continue.

"You love Lucifer, but by the way you're cuddling up to me, you're showing you loved me. I looked up 'love' and by my understanding, you clearly love me. And to be honest, I don't know how I feel about you touching me with Lucifer downstairs who you have a bond with and who can feel just about every emotion you feel." Castiel's laser blue eye met my dark emerald ones and he let out a low breath. "And-sorry to use your name father- my God, being near you makes me want to kiss you." He rushed out in one breath. I leaned back and blinked once. Castiel's eyes were closed and he was trying to control his breathing. I knew Cas liked me, but since the two weeks he's been back, I thought his feelings diminished a little. And considering we haven't spoken just the two of us in so long, I hoped he moved on. Turns out my thoughts were wrong.

"Castiel..." I mumbled, but he stood up abruptly.

"You know what, forgot I ever said anything. I'm needed downstairs." He retorted. Before I could say another word, he was gone. Sighing, I sat back on the bed disappointed in myself. How could I have not realized Castiel's feelings towards me. Damn.

-

Two hours of napping later, the boys were done talking and decided it would be a good idea to fill me in on their plans. "We're fighting The Fallen for sure now." Bobby said easily.

Blowing air out of my mouth, I shook my head dejected. "Great. Ready for an ass kicking?" I added sarcastically.

"From this point on, regular hunting is ceased." Bobby authoritatively stated. "We will only focus on The Fallen. The boys, Isabel, and I will pour all out attention into the various books and online resources to figure out how to damage The Fallen in any way. Lucifer, do you think you can contact someone to bring some of your references to us from Hell to look at?" Bobby asked while turning his attention to Lucifer. He took his arm off my shoulder and shrugged.

"Newbies are great for transporting goods." Leaning forward onto his elbows, he scanned the room. "Am I allowed to live here now? Since you know, I can't even enter Hell." Lucifer sounded genuinely upset that he couldn't visit home.

"Sure, don't make a mess though." Sam said. Lucifer chuckled, but stood and headed upstairs. Dean went to the kitchen and grabbed a beer for himself and Sam while Bobby started to make dinner, leaving Castiel and I alone.

His eyes met mine and a glint of pain and regret flashed across his irises. I opened my mouth to say something, but before I could utter a sound, Castiel nervously acted.

"Maybe you should go help Lucifer upstairs." Cas fidgeted in his seat some more.

"No, I'm sure he's just fine." Again, my mouth was agape to talk, but Castiel cut me off again.

"Seriously, I thought I heard Lucifer calling your name." I clicked my tongue and stood up.

"Castiel, if you just didn't want to talk to me, then you should've just said it." I groaned and shook my head as I passed Castiel. "Ugh men."

Heading upstairs, I decided maybe I'll ask Lucifer if he needed any help. "Lucifer?" His head popped from behind my room's door.

"Yeah?"

"Do you need help with anything?" I asked.

"No, but would like to talk to you." Slowly I entered my room. When he asks to talk to me, I know it's going to be about something I don't want to talk about. "How are you and Castiel?"

"Uh, just fine, why?"

"Earlier, when he carried you up here, I felt your feelings. At first, you enjoyed Castiel being with you, but then you became tense, was there a reason for that?"

"Castiel was just nervous about the details with The Fallen." I lied smoothly. "Everything is fine between us, he was anxious and worried about my well-being as always." Giving Lucifer an appreciative smile, I kissed his cheek.

"Good, I needed to make sure our team would be just fine for this war, but that's enough serious talk." Lucifer smiled mischievously. With just one thought, he closed and bolted the door quietly before getting less serious.

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Yes, I know this is fairly short, but I'm thinking out the ending for this book in my head. I hope you enjoyed it! :) It was pretty much a filler since in a chapter or two the BIG ending will be coming. I've also been working on another story, so that might be why this is shorter and had less thought. sorry!

Kisses,

Roryx