Spelling Scars

Almost

"I expect the essay by tomorrow." Professor McGonagall stated as the bell rang, dismissing us for lunch. Hermione and I have barely said a word to each other, and I felt like an absolute jerk. I shouldn't have stormed away from her yesterday, I should have stayed with her. I feel like she's mad at me, but I didn't want to approach her about it. If she didn't want me anymore, I expect it. I hate myself, and she probably hates me too. Who wouldn't? I gathered my books,parchment,quills and my wand, and packed it all into my bag. I left the classroom after thanking Professor McGonagall for the lesson, and turned right, heading for the library.

"Hey." A voice said from the shadows. I turned, and I saw Hermione walking toward me, a placid expression on her face.

"Can I talk to you?" She asked as she tentatively took my hand.

"Sure." I followed her down a corridor and into the library, where we stopped in a secluded section. I stared into her eyes, and my resolve drifted away.

"Listen... I'm really sorry that I stormed away from you yesterday. I know you're mad and-"

"Hey. Lauren. I'm not mad at all. I'm just worried." Hermione said as she placed her hands on my shoulders. My stomach dropped at her words. What did she know? Did she figure out my darkest secrets?

"Lauren. It breaks my heart to see how Draco and his friends treat you. We need to stop it. You don't deserve it and-" She broke off, tears welling up in her eyes.

"Hey. Babe please don't cry." I soothed as I wiped her tears away. "Its okay."

"No, Lauren. They treat you like dirt. I won't stand for it. You deserve so much better."

"Hey, it's fine."

"No! It's not!" Hermione said as she launched herself at me, her hands clutching my back. "We need to tell Dumbledore about it."

"No. Hermione, listen to me. We aren't telling anyone."

"Why?"

"Because it's fine."

"No! No it's not!"

"Listen, if they do it again I'll tell Dumbledore." I said as I grabbed her hands. This was of course a lie, I just said it to soothe her. She nodded, and she leaned into me.

"Okay. I love you so much darling." She said as she wrapped her arms around my waist.

"I love you too." I whispered, as I leaned my head on her shoulder. We stood like that for a while, until Peeves materialized behind us.

"Oh! Am I interrupting something? You two look like you're up to some suspicious actions. Want me to get you a room?" Peeves taunted.

"Oh, give it a rest Peeves." Hermione said sharply, sending him away, snickering to himself.

"Come on, let's get some lunch." Hermione said as she led me out of the library. My anxiety rose at the mention of food, but I followed Hermione, and we entered the Great Hall together.

"Where have you two been?" Lunch is nearly over!" Ron said as he shoved potatoes into his mouth.

"Ron, chew and swallow before you choke. Harry, pass the chicken please." Hermione requested, and she doled out chicken, roasted potatoes and vegetables into her plate. I grabbed a goblet of water, and spooned a few scoops of vegetables onto my plate. My anxiety rose once again, and I clasped my hands together under the table to stop them from shaking.

"Lauren, have you finished the essay on Sphinxes? I nearly have." Harry asked as he took a sip of pumpkin juice.

"I finished it last night. Reckon we'll be assigned another essay?" I asked.

"We better not. I have loads of homework already." Harry muttered. I saw Hermione watching me from the corners of my eyes, and I picked up my fork, paranoid that she noticed I wasn't eating. I shoved my vegetables around the plate, and put a piece of tomato in my mouth, chewing and swallowing. I followed the conversation around me as best I could, but it was hard because my demons were yelling at me. Lunch ended, and I had eaten a total of 23 calories. I put my bag over shoulder, and bade Hermione goodbye, following Harry out to the grounds for Care of Magical Creatures.

*****

I collapsed into an armchair, and dropped my bag next to me.

"Alright, let's get started on this." Hermione said as we pulled out our books. We were supposed to write an essay on vanishing spells. We had just came back from dinner, where I had eaten a total of 58 calories. The dinner was filled with banter from the twins, which brightened my mood a tad.

"Hold on, I'll be right back." I said as I stood up, making my way to the dormitories. I sprinted up the spiral staircase, and entered the bathroom. I didn't weigh myself this morning, so I had to do it now. I stripped down into my underwear, took a deep breath, and stepped onto the scale. I heard the faint beep, and looked down. 80.71 pounds. Way too fat. I wiped the tears from my eyes, and put my clothes back on. I stared at my reflection, thoroughly repulsed by what I saw. I opened the door and stepped out, and made my way back down to Hermione. I had to pretend to be okay again.