Daring To Feel: A Walking Dead Fan Fiction

Chapter 3: Separate Paths

Rick bashes the head of one of them in with a bat and tells us he needs a minute. I walk away with the other 2, not accepting to kill one myself. Although all of them insisted I carry something to protect myself with, I refuse, too afraid to kill any, even though I know they are already dead. Rick eventually leads us into his house, assuring his family made it out alive ", "how could you be so sure?" I question him, wanting to believe him but having a hard time doing so.

"There's empty drawers. They packed some clothes. Not a lot, but enough to travel" he repeats out loud, clearly telling himself the same thing before.

Morgan responds "you know anybody could've come in here off the streets and stolen clothes, right?"

I nod agreeing with him but Rick doesn't believe that, "the walls" he gestures to one behind him "framed photos, see any? I don't. Some random thief take those too, ya think?" He shows us that the photo albums are gone and Morgan sits down getting emotional, saying his wife did the same exact thing.

"They're probably in Atlanta" I suggest, not wanting to see the man get upset.

"That's right" Morgan agrees looking over his shoulder at me briefly.

Rick asks "why there?"

"Refugee center. Huge one they said before the broadcast stopped. Military protection, food, shelter. They told people to go there. Said they'd be safe" Morgan explains. It's more then what I heard before getting locked into the room but I'm happy to hear what he said.

"Plus they got that disease place" Dwayne adds in.

His father nods "center for disease control. Said they were working out how to solve this thing."

Rick walks away from us and grabs a set of keys, "what are you doing?" I ask

"We need weapons if we're going to make it to Atlanta" he returns without looking towards us.

We get to the jail easily without incident and first thing Rick does is show us the showers. He tells me where to find the ladies locker area and I quickly make my way there, excited to have a hot shower and shave my legs! As I clean myself off I can hear them hoot and holler in delight and a small smile crosses my face. I remind myself that I haven't smiled for a long time even before the outbreak and I try to encourage myself to keep it up, to allow myself to feel something good. I was told it was okay so many times before. I shave my legs quickly, eagerly wanting to put the razor down. Old feelings emerge, wishing I had something sharper at the moment and I try my best to suppress them back down. I think of the men laughing over a shower but it worsens my feeling of sorrow and I change my train of thought. I think of the day I lost the only person who mattered to me in the world and the emptiness surrounds me, making me numb again. This is my comfort place, this is my world. I stay numb, pushing the urge to hurt myself aside for now.

I meet them all in the main area after getting cleaned up. Rick now in a uniform and the others in clean clothes. He unlocks a chain and opens a weapons container. I stay behind them, not caring to get my hands on one. Dwayne asks his father if he could shoot, claiming to be old enough. "It's not a toy, you pull the trigger you have to mean it. Always remember that Dwayne." I hear Rick say and a flash from my childhood embraces me.

They pack duffel bags full of weapons, "here" Morgan offers me a shotgun but I shake my head to decline. "You need to protect yourself" he insists further.

"I'm fine without one" I grit through my teeth. His hands stays held out for a few more moments but he pulls it back in and stuffs the gun into the bag.

We make our way to the back to the parking lot and Rick opens the passenger side door, "you sure you won't come along?" He asks, wanting the two of them to go to Atlanta with us. Although I invited myself to go with him, I didn't feel staying behind with Morgan and Dwayne was even a choice. I've been cooped up with Rick for weeks now, even in silence, he's come to be my only friend.

"Few more days" Morgan says. "By then Dwayne will know how to shoot and I won't be as rusty"

I nod, not really caring what the reason is but wanting to move on and find somewhere safe. Rick grabs something from his car, "you got one battery" he passes a radio to him "I'll turn mine on for a few minutes every day at dawn" he explains a plan "you get up there, that's how you find me."

"You think ahead" he smiles putting the radio in his bag.

"Can't afford not to" he responds back with a smile.

"Not anymore" I add on looking down at dirt.

Morgan goes to turn away but pauses, "one more thing" he steps closer to Rick "now they may not seem like much one at a time, but in a group all riled up and hungry... You watch your ass" his eyes open a bit wide, "watch hers too" I hear him add on in a whisper.

"You too" Rick says, "and I will" he glances at me before shaking Morgan's hand.

"I hope you find your wife and son" Morgan encourages him.

He tells Dwayne to take care of his father and as they go to part a sound is heard from the side. We all look and another uniformed officer is stumbling towards the fence. Rick begins to talk about the man he used to be but I decide to get in the car and tune it out. I already know how to say goodbye to people and don't want to watch others learn to do the same. I sit impatiently tapping my foot on the floor and a gun shot goes off soon after.

We part, the 2 people we met wave out their jeep window as they turn in the opposite direction towards the home they have made. Rick drives forward only a few miles and stops the car. He gets out, his eyes searching the field for something. He puts his hat on and walks away. I step out of the car, resting against the hood as I wait for him to do whatever it is he wants to do. I lose sight of him but another gun shot goes off and I know it was him. He walks back to the car with his head down and gets in silently, pulling away quickly and leaving his home town behind him.
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A/N: thanks for sticking with it! I promise it gets better! Sadie's past is a huge part of who she is, but it'll take some time for her to develop enough to expose it! I hope you stay interested enough to find out 💜