Chapter 20: Promises and Secrets

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Something sharp against my rib wakes me up and I open my eyes. Everything is dark but I feel something soft that my head rests on. I lift my head slightly and see Daryl, staring off into the night, "how long have I been a sleep?" I question, sitting up and off of him.

He shrugs and moves a little under my weight, "couple hours."

"Wow. I'm sorry, I didn't even realize I was that tired. You— you could've woken me." I tell him sitting up from him.

"Naw, I kept watch, safer here then anywhere else, I spose'" he tells me, "we should get back to camp before the others wake for the day though, don't need no one gettin' anymore ideas like they did at the CDC" he laughs softly standing up and offering me a hand.

"I'll be right there" I say back to him.

He nods his head, allowing me to stay and begins to walk back, "hey, Sadie-Mae" he calls out my name and I turn to look at him, "promise me somethin'" he pauses. I look at him not moving, letting him know I'm listening, "promise me you won't use that ever again?" his head nods down a bit. I don't need him to be more specific because I know what he's referring too. I nod my head with a small smile, tossing it into the pool of water in front of me. He smiles back with a nod of his own and moves back to camp. I sit there, thinking about why I do what I do, and why I agreed to not do it again. I've stopped for extended periods of times before, getting help that I needed, but the desire to hurt myself is always there, and sooner or later I always give in.

After cleaning myself off in the RV, I meet out front for breakfast. Carol made eggs and she's passing them around for everyone. I sit on a log, picking at the plate. Shane appears out of a tent and I look at him. His eyes focused on me as he walks in my direction. My heart beats faster, not wanting to talk to him at all as he gets closer, "room for one more" a male asks and I look up towards the sun to see Daryl standing over me.

I nod my head and scoot over for him to sit on the log. He sits next to me, his feet outstretched on the other side as we are shoulder to shoulder while we eat. Shane reaches me a few moments later, ignoring Daryl, "can I talk to you?" He asks in a low voice.

"Beat it!" Daryl spits out to him, looking up and behind from how his body is positioned, shooting daggers at him.

Shane exhales quickly, obviously annoyed at him and just looks at me for my own response, "can't you catch a clue.." I mimic the words I heard him say last night, "beat it" I add on before I stuff some eggs in my mouth. I laugh a little as he huffs away from me angrily, "thanks" I say to Daryl who just nudges me with his elbow and a chuckle of his own.

"Um, guys." Glenn stands in front of everyone, trying to get all of our attention, "So..." he hesitates for a moment as we all wait "The barn is full of walkers."

"What?!" A few of us spit out

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"What?!" A few of us spit out. Most of the men stand up abruptly and head towards the barn we haven't been near since we arrived. Dale goes over next to Glenn and says something to him that I didn't catch.

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