Burning Passion

Dollhouse

Whispered arguments, shuffling, and pacing could could be heard around me 'who are they', 'why are they arguing', 'am I dead? if I'm dead why would people be arguing? Do I get to meet Tupac and Eazy?' are the only things running through my mind at the moment. "Why did no one tell me my daughter! was in the——" daughter? no, no, no, no...... 'Mom?' was the last thing before I once again go into a deep sleep.

"Ava! can you please watch over your brother I'm going out?" once again she leaves to go out with friends. "yeah mom its fine" I say, whilst smiling  she replied "thank you, i'll be home late, call if you need anything k." of course mom even though I don't need any help some what raising my brother. "Ava! where is your mom?" dad yells "I don't know she said out with friends!" I yell loud enough he could hear me in the living room. " of course she's with friends" he angrily says " instead of being a mom" he says next. What he doesn't know is she's depressed and on depressant medication, sleep apnea and is always sad , because she feels alone and sad. The only reason I put up with anything was to watch over my little brother and maybe just maybe my mom wont cry all the time.

I sat in a pealing white rocking chair thats slowly falling apart my body leaning towards the left side, while my wrist are tied to the arm rest, ankles tied and in a worn out, ripped black dress, wrist revealing scars you couldn't be able to see unless light hit it at the right angle, the dress higher on my right thigh showing every scar neatly traced out watching every memory in a 360 motion over and over watching every memory I tried so hard to forget.

As if i was watching a movie I saw myself laughing and smiling at what Mel had said. I remember that day, My phone rang after I came over to Melanie's house after school. "Hello, hey dad?" there was crying

on the other line and anger " your mom is probably cheating on me, what have I done wrong Ava, I didn't do anything wrong, why does she want to leave me I'll change I'll get better, I wont be so angry all the time, just tell me Ava I know you know whats happening" he was angrily saying. "I don't know whats happening, I'm sorry dad" "don't give me that bull shit, Ava" and hangs up, I begin to cry to Melanie "he thinks my mom is cheating, but she's not Mel... I know she's not"

The door slammed shut with a loud bang,in walked in a drunk angry dad, my brother Valentino and his friend Riddick,Jeremy, Omarion, and Jessie surround me, the oldest to protect me in case he tried anything in that moment I realized twelve year olds took it upon themselves to protect me an eighteen year old who should be the one to protect them. Without a word he goes into my brothers room that he took over since mom said she wanted to separate. The loud music blared from the room and just like that it was as if a switch flipped two punches to the wall, and something loud hitting into the walls and things getting thrown. "we should go outside and start a camp fire" Riddick says, by then I was crying from embarrassment, that he decided to act out while Valentino's friends were here, "hey, momma wanna come outside with us I don't want you in here alone" Omarion stays behind "its ok momma don't cry" he said my little brothers friends called me since I would take care of them and make sure they stayed out of trouble so in a way I was their mom since theirs never really cared to much . Once outside I watch myself texted my mom to lock her door dads angry, she replied 'k' putting away the phone. Startled in the rocking-chair , as the sliding door slam to the side my dad decides to throw out my flat screen looking directly at me, and then finally an AC unit as well. Crying once again they hug me "its going to be okay, momma." that night my dad punched a hole through the wall right next to my moms head.

The seat chair jerked forward to the next memory, The day my sister came down to visit, Screaming was going on in the living room between our parents about the divorce and words were said, my brother was crying and I held in all the tears being the second oldest I had to suck everything up and be strong making me resent Farrah, she was supposed to take care of us, but she only thought of herself. I saw things no one else saw, Farrah had left us crying because she couldn't handle seeing them argue, but she for got her little siblings me and Valentino. Huddling in the corner of my room I hugged him close to me and told him to plug his ears until I got head phones to play loud music and to rest. By now tears were streaming down my face as I watched the little things that happened in my life that broke me piece by piece.

The chair stopped harshly and I was engulf in darkness and as if on cue a spot light was shined on me and I face myself the younger me the emotionless full of hate and anger. Smiling evilly she smirked "remember me?" she twitched popping her fingers and neck in very fast pace and dark black eyes "I'm the one who told you to cut,I was the one to tell you to punch walls, I was the one to tell you to use bobby pins, tacks, and envelope razors, I was the one to tell you to punch the carpet when the wall wasn't enough, I was the one to tell you to hate your dad, I was the one to tell you to isolate yourself, I was the one to remind you of what happened to you as a child remember him Ava remember your cousin Jared?, I was the one to make you hate yourself, I was the one who almost made you down a bottle of pills!, HAHAHAHAHAHA" she cackled twitching through everything she said " I MADE YOU!!!!!!" She screamed tauntingly angry. "YOU ARE NOTHING ....NEVER WERE ....NEVER WILL BE!!!!" She came closer smiling "Im always with you in the back of your mind, waiting to come out, give me time and ill be back like I never left, you think your safe, but you're not, not from HIM not from anyone and MOST of all you're not safe from the most dangerous one of all that can break you, defeat you, and kill you..." she backed up cackling while black liquid seeped from her eyes and mouth, she was scraping at her wrist and neck... smiling brightly and wide as ever and at the speed of light she was in front of me screaming "HAHAHAHAHA AAAHHHHHH THE MOST DANGEROUS YOU WONT BE ABLE TO RUNAWAY!!!!" calling down creepily walking away and turning to face me quickly and in the most creepy, dark, deep, and evil voice she growled in my ear "YOU WONT BE ABLE TO ESCAPE YOURSELF!!!!!" the rocking chair crumbled beneath me full of maggots and worms as I fell down into never ending black hole screaming for my life while hearing a loud evil laugh saying "down you go, till next time my dear Ava.."

Jolting upright in the hospital bed screaming "NO!!!!!" in the most ear piercing volume. Right away I felt arms holding me, squeezing me, soothing me "you're okay, you're okay" the deep raspy voice said over and over "I'm here, baby I'm here..." looking up at the face in front of me was Drake and right next to him......... "Dad?" before all of the nurses rushed into the room.