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Chapter Three

It was a Saturday night at precisely 1:30 am when I received what appeared to be a drunken message from Kai. While every college students would typically party on weekends, I would much prefer to hibernate underneath my endless layers of blankets while searching for the newest tragedy movie I could get my hands on.

Kai: whtre are yoi
Me: I told you I don't like it when you're texting me drunk
Kai: but i muss yyu

You only ever miss me when you're drunk

Me: You're drunk, text me when you're sober
Kai: can o cume overr ?????

Glancing over the screen, I was hesitant.
Drunk Kai was funny.
Drunk Kai was sweet.
Drunk Kai was my favorite.
When Kai is intoxicated, he shows me an endless amount of love and affection.. Love and affection he would otherwise never shows when he's sober. I try to stay strong but it breaks my heart to know that Kai is capable of such love, yet he refuses to give it to me.
Drunk Kai wanted me.
Sober Kai didn't.
And that's what hurts the most.

I must have taken far too long to reply because the next thing I knew my phone was being spammed with an endless amount of texts from Kai.
Kai: opem the door melogy!!!
Kai: melody I know yorh in there!!
Kai: OPENENEN!!

Groaning, I push myself off of the bed, And hurriedly jogged downstairs not wanting to further piss off the drunken boy.

"Calm down, Kai!" I yelled
Slurring, Kai threw his arms around me and said, "but you took too long to answer. I was thinking that you're ignore meee"
"You know I could never ignore you," I whispered as I tried myself to support Kai with my small and petite body.
"Let cuddle," whined Kai

As we slowly made our way up the stairs and into my room, I noticed a few things that ached my heart.
The slight bruise forming on Kai's neck, the hint of floral perfume surrounding him, and the bright red lipstick situation on the corner of his lips and neck.
Noticing my silence, Kai rubbed his neck and lips, trying to scrub whatever traces the unknown girl had left behind.

"Mel, I'm so-"
"So did you have fun," I interrupted, not wanting to heard his empty apologies.
He always apologized.
He didn't mean it.
He didn't care.

Meeting my gaze, he replied, "not without you"
"Don't" I replied sternly, "You know I hate when you lie to me"
"I'm not lying"
"Then are you going to do anything about it?" I began to feel restless of this never ending cycle.
He wanted me.
Yet, he didn't.
But one thing for sure, he'll never let me go.
Avoiding my heated gaze he whispered, "You know I can't"
Suddenly unable to find my voice, I croaked, "You mean you won't"

I was tired of this.
I was tired of him.
I was tired of us.
But most of all, I was tired of myself. I was tired of his ability to make me feel like I was on top of the world, and yet moments later, I can feel like I was the worst person on the planet.

He stayed silent, fixating his gaze to the floor.
A minute passed.
Then five.
Then ten.
I couldn't stand his silence anymore, I knew he felt guilty, yet I was feeling far more guilty for making him feel any other emotion besides happiness.
"Let's forget it, and sleep. M'kay?" I said
Slowly, Kai lifted his head and met my gaze with his bloodshot eyes.
"Okay."

Resuming walk, we continued to walk down the hallway until we reached the last bedroom door to our left.
One by one, Kai stripped himself bare.
I turned around to avoid his glare, and to avoid glaring. To keep myself busy, I started to prepare the bed until I felt a hand wrap itself around my torso.
"Mel," he whispered as he slowly caressed his hand down my waist.
I could only hum in respond, for I knew exactly where this was going.
"Turn around for me, baby" he whispered