The Life That Happened

OPEN LETTER

Hey you.

I miss you.

There's no day that I haven't think of you. I worry about you a lot. My heart still loves you even if we are on darkest hours. Even if you rejected me over and over again.

I still longed for your presence, your hugs, your kisses, your smile, the sound of your voice, your laugh, your smell, the whole you. I'm craving for it.

But I know, we couldn't be together. For now. I know things have not been the way we planned and expected it to be. Things are not the usual between the two of us.

Still, I hoped and prayed that we can still be together. There can still be an "us". We can still feel the way we wanted each other to feel.

So, I'm saying sorry.

Sorry for not hugging you tighter when you're still mine. Sorry for not holding your hand when I know you wanted us to hold hands so deeply. Sorry for not saying "I love you too" when you said "I love you". I'm sorry for the terrible me, the awful me, that made you upset. I'm sorry for being too overwhelmed that you'll always stick by my side. I'm sorry for not protecting our relationship. I'm sorry for all the troubles I've caused you.

Sorry for still bothering you, even though you don't want me in you life anymore. Sorry for making you have a hard time breaking up with me. Sorry for being stupid and stubborn.

And..

I'm sorry for still loving you, even though you don't want me to.

Just that someday, we'll forgive each other. We'll forgive ourselves.

And maybe, we'll find ourselves back on our feet.

Even if we can't be together anymore. I still wish you well. I still care for you.

I'll still smile secretly at your success. You'll always hold a special place in my heart, even of I no longer hold yours.

You'll still have my heart, even if you returned it to me again and again.

You'll still be the love of my life.

The one that got away.

For I know, I'll never be able to love anyone else the way I loved you.

And..

I'll never be able to feel the love you made me feel from anyone else.