Untouchable - A Jimmy Fallon Fanfiction

Chapter 1

"I need a round of whiskey shots, boss." I told the bartender as I sat on a stool in front of him.

He chuckled and leaned on the bar in front of me. "What's a pretty thing like you doin' ordering whiskey? Don't you want a martini, or a daiquiri?"

"No, asshole." I rolled my eyes. "Give me what I asked for, and what I'm paying for."

He looked at me, still chuckling, for a few seconds before turning his smile straight and nodding. "You got it."

"Thank you."

He got me all hooked up, and I grabbed my phone to catch up online. I pressed the People Mag app and read away.

Jimmy Fallon's Ready To Settle Down Again

I almost scrolled by that, but something told me to click it.

Jimmy Fallon's at the height of his career, and has no one to share it with. After a messy divorce from producer, Nancy Juvonen in 2014, Jimmy's been fully focused on making The Tonight Show a hit. Now that it is (and isn't slowing down anytime soon) - Fallon's ready to focus on his personal life. "My daughters are my life, being with them is so fulfilling." Fallon explained. "But the days when I don't have them, I'm reminded of how lonely I am. Maybe I should join Tinder!" He joked, but you could see much of what he said was true due to his cracking voice and shaky breath. Fallon is a catch, ladies! He's signed on to host The Tonight Show until at least 2021, and he's got a charming sense of humor. "No but really, I love my life right now, I'm having fun. But I'm too old to just be single now, I like to love and be in love. One day!"

I was interrupted by someone sitting next to me and ordering a round of tequila shots. I looked over slightly, and it was Jimmy. Of course it was. I felt my phone buzz, and there was a text from Pete.

"Hey baby, where u at? You aren't at the bar.. Did u go home??"

I decided to go to a new bar to be alone for a change. I locked my phone and slipped in back in my pocket. Jimmy took a shot and turned to both sides. I could now feel him staring at me, just like in Lorne's office.

"Sloane?" He spoke softly.

I swiveled in my stool and smiled. "Hi Jimmy."

"Wow, this is odd. I've never seen you here before." He smiled before grabbing a second shot glass and downing it.

"Oh yeah, I don't really go anywhere else except that bar across from the building. I've never really been to this neighborhood before." I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket, but I knew I wanted to ignore it. "I wanted to try something new."

"Ah," Jimmy nodded. "I feel like I've seen you around all the time, but I really don't know you."

"What's there to know?" I shrugged. "I'm nobody really."

"Oh come on.." Jimmy laughed. "The age old line that people use to not open up."

"Unfair!" I smiled. "What do you wanna know, Fallon?"

"Whatever you want to tell. I'm open ears over here."

"I'm an overly confident girl exiting her twenties soon that likes gin and tonic more than Starbucks. I like telling people what to do, hate being told what to do, I work hard, I don't take no for an answer, I handle my fucking business with no shortcut, I get moody, I hate commitment, I take zero shit, and did I say I liked alcohol? I like alcohol." I grab a shot and threw it back to my throat.

"You're so rare." He nodded while widening his smile.

"Really? How so?"

"You tell it like it is.. I've never really had anyone do that."

"It usually scares people off." I added.

"Well, it didn't work with me." He smirked. "You're a cool chick, Sloane."

"Thank you." I grab the last shot and down it before sighing. "You know, I think I'm gonna go."

"Why? The evening's still young, happy hour is barely in full swing."

"I have to finish writing those damned sketches you have to read tomorrow. Stay safe, Fallon." I grabbed my purse and stood up. "Don't go getting trashed on a Monday night."

"I live around the corner, so if anything, I'm fine."

"That's what I like to hear." I smiled at him before exiting the bar.

I quickly caught a cab and headed to my apartment in the Upper East Side. I lived with my best friend Kelly, my literal best friend since college, and my puppy Minka. As soon as I walked in, there Kelly was watching tv with Minka.

"You know, you would think you had no life the way I catch you in this same position every day." I closed the door, sat my bag down, and sighed.

"Oh whatever, you're just mad I get to choose my hours."

"And you're mad I have a paid summer off."

She was silent.

"Oh okay!" I rolled my eyes.

"Anyways, Pete called me and told me you've been really distancing yourself all day. You didn't even go to the bar with him."

"I can't with him right now." I shrugged. "He's really trying to commit, and you know I'm not about that."

"Sloane, you turn 30 in a few months." Kelly got up and walked into the kitchen to meet me. "Now either you can be single for eternity, or you can take someone seriously. I like Pete."

"Pete is 22, and he shouldn't be this gung-ho for commitment anyways."

"Well then say that." Kelly had her arms crossed.

"You know I hate breaking up with people.." I sighed.

"Well if you hate breaking up with people so much then why do you do it so often?"

"Kelly." I looked at her in her eyes. "I don't commit. I don't do relationships and love and Valentine's Day.. it's gross."

"When are you gonna just grow up and let someone love you the way you deserve? You're like an ice sculpture, and when someone does try to get next to you, you get too cold for them and they run off. And if they don't end up doing that, you break up and run off."

"True." I nodded.

"Wow, I will never get through to you." Kelly shook her head.

"That's right. When I see you getting wheeled outta here with a ring on your finger, then I'll consider it."

I grabbed my phone to text Pete back.

I don't really see us going anywhere beyond where we are. You're really great, Pete. But I just can't give you something that's fake. I hope we'll stay friends!! 🙂

I sat my phone on the kitchen island and opened the fridge, searching for a drink. I search the fridge endlessly until I see a half empty bottle of beer and sip it.

"I'm going to finish this sketch and go to sleep. See ya, Kel."

I sat on my bed and looked around. Emmys on my mantle, other lesser important but still cool awards there too... and I realized I was lonely. But at least I'm accepting of it.