Finding Our Light

Chapter Two: Trust

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   Also I'm going back and editing Into the Darkness in a week! If there are any major changes I'll let you all know.

   I start to wipe down our kitchen counter when Drew walks in the door, laughing loudly. When I look behind him he has a guy and a girl behind him. The giggling messes all plop down on the couch and start talking. I just stay quiet and focus on cleaning. That is until I hear a certain name.

   "Oh my god," Drew's friend, Jonathan says. "Zayn is so coming here. He's throwing some big party too."

   "I am going," Drew states, as if he was invited, which, he clearly wasn't.

   "Shut up!" Rachel says, gaping at him. "How?"

    I smile a little and shake my head. There is no way they will let Drew into that party without an invitation. I can't wait to hear how he answers.

    "Well," he smirks. "You see, about four months ago, I met this lovely little lady who just so happens to know the manager of the hotel who know Zayn." My smile fades as Drew continues talking and I'm now the one gaping at him. "That's how."

   "No way!" Jonathan and Rachel look at me. "You know the manager who knows Zayn?"
  
    I glare at Drew before replying to Jonathan's question. "Yes." is all I say.

   "How?" Rachel gets up and walks over to the counter, Jonathan right behind her.

   "Just an old friend," I mumble and begin cleaning again. I'm mad, pissed actually. Not at Drew, he doesn't know about Zayn and exactly how I know Harry so it's not his fault. I'm pissed at myself and I'm beyond pissed at Zayn. It's like he's still in my life no matter what I do. I moved half way across the World from him, he then moves too. I don't see him in person but he's still all over. I can't go a day without someone talking about him, and all I can do is bite my tongue.

    Not only that but I have to watch people drool over him and look at photos of him and his supermodel girlfriend. And I can't even touch him or kiss him ever again but I sure do get to witness another girl that's able to. He's moved on and happy while I'm lagging behind trying to ignore the pain I feel when I see those photos or hear his name. I wanted space, it was suppose to help me, and it really has, but it's like no matter what Zayn will always be the one. But I was clearly wasn't.

   "Uh, babe," I hear Drew. "If you keep scrubbing that hard you're gonna hurt yourself."

   "What?" I look up, breathing out harshly. All three of them are looking at me intensely.

   "I think you've had enough of cleaning," he walks over to me and takes the rag out of my hand.

   "I'm going to sleep," I say and walk away from them into my room. The apartment is definitely not big, but I don't mind. Well, I do when Drew brings guys home, but besides that I'm perfectly content with it. Once I'm in my room I plop down on my bed and let my mind wonder.

    I wish I could forget. I wish I could just call Zayn and tell him I've had enough space. That I want him and I forgive him. And that's true, I do want him and I'm ready to forgive him. It's just I cant, I can't forget what he did and how much pain he caused me. I can't forget how my whole life was screwed with and now forever changed in such a negative way, all because of Zayn.

   But I also can't forget how he made me feel. How his laugh and smile just made my day a million times brighter or how hot he was in the morning. I can't forget how he made my pain disappear when we visited my family or how he helped me so much emotionally. Or how he made me laugh.
  
   Maybe if there wasn't such a drastic change of his behavior when I first met him and how he acted at the end of our relationship. Maybe if I didn't see how much of a wonderful person he can be or the love in his eyes when he looked at me. Maybe if none of that happened it would be easier just hate him and never want to speak or see him again. Sadly, it isn't that easy.