Missing Joshua | Book 2 (SEVENTEEN)

2 - Remember

Joshua's expression doesn't change. It stays pleasant, attentive, and charming.

I feel a strange sense of relief wash over me; like all the panic and stress I'd been feeling earlier has left my body.

A small, sympathetic smile crosses Joshua's face. "I hope you can meet with your friend soon, and clear up any misunderstandings."

I nod, quickly. "Oh, I already have."

This is what I needed.

Amy Cho, you needed a reality check.

You've spent too much time missing this boy, when all this time he's been doing the sensible thing - moving on, and growing up.

The fan on my right starts to move over. Next to Joshua, Seungcheol catches my eye and smiles warmly.

I casually take my hands away from Joshua's, and gather up his autographed photo. I wish I could've held on to his fingers a little while longer. Ah, well. If there was one thing worth it about this trip to Seoul, it would've been this moment.

I summon up the last shred of courage I'd saved to speak to him. I look him straight in the eyes, and I can almost feel our gazes lock into place.

"Seventeen fighting," I say, quietly. I give a small smile and respectfully bow my head, before tearing my gaze away from him.

... One second.

I had made eye contact with S.coups for one second. I had moved one centimeter out of my seat, just about to shuffle over to the next one.

One second, and my heart freezes as a strong hand shoots across and grabs my wrist.

My eyes lock onto Joshua's once more, and my heartbeat pounds in my ears.

If his facial expression was unchanging earlier, it had most certainly changed now.

Seungcheol glances between us, confused. A mini hush has fallen over the fans beside me, quickly replaced with whispering.

Joshua's hand is still tightly gripping my wrist. His eyes are slightly wider than they were before, and his stare burns right through me. I feel like a deer trapped in headlights.

"Ah..." Joshua's eyes don't leave me, as a panicked expression crosses his face. He briefly glances at his hold on my wrist, then immediately releases his grip. "Ah. Ah..."

I can feel my stress levels rising again. The fan on my left is ready to move on, and I'm starting to attract attention.

This was a bad idea.

I want to talk to him. I want to say so much. But this was a very bad time to do so.

I bow my head at him quickly, one more time, before I let go of my remaining drop of self control.

"Amy. Wait."

I freeze again as he speaks my name. His fingertips rest lightly on my arm as he hurriedly turns in his chair and raises his other hand to attract the attention of the staff. "Manager-nim? Manager-nim. Please give her a pass as soon as she finishes her turn."

The serious-looking man that stares over his shoulder nods once, before gesturing for me to move on, as I was causing a mini build-up in the queue.

It's only when I'm sat comfortably in front of S.coups that Joshua tears his eyes away from me, and apologetically smiles at the next fan in line.

~

When I had reached the end of the sign, a member of staff handed me a small plastic card on a lanyard strap, and told me to go wait beyond two double-doors in a fenced-off area around the back of the venue.

I'm waiting there for over forty minutes, my hands shoved nervously in my pockets, trying to calm my anxiety and ignore the curious gazes of the random staff members scattered about. My excitement starts to build when I hear the farewell screams of all the fans inside the building, and more staff members start to file out the doors. I squeeze my hands into fists as the first of the members start filing out - they all look so different from all those years ago - and they walk right by me without a second glance, heading for the parked staff cars.

"Hey..." I jump as a voice appears beside me, and when I swivel around I'm face to face with Vernon. He gives me a questioning look. "I think I know you from somewhere... OH!" Vernon steps back and claps his hands together. "Amy Cho! You were a trainee for SM, weren't you? We used to hang out a lot?"

I grin at him. "Long time no see." At least someone recognizes me.

It was only Vernon Hansol Vernon Choi VERNON that recognized me immediately with my mask off. Vernon.

"It's so good to see you!" Vernon flashes his sparkling grin, then his smile fades a little. "Oh, yeah. I bet Jisoo really wants to see you."

I nod. Well done, Vernon. That's the only reason why this blue strap and plastic card are hanging around my neck, and I've been terrified for most of today.

I try to brush the sarcastic comments out of my head. Vernon's a good guy. I'm being judgmental again.

"Hey."

I look up, and my heart skips a beat. Joshua had come to stand beside me and Vernon, and I hadn't even noticed.

Vernon suddenly glances over at Mingyu's retreating back. "Yo, Hyung, I'm just going to go see the others." With a quick smile at me, he starts jogging over to the other members.

Slowly, ever so slowly, my eyes travel to Joshua's face.

He stares straight back at me.

He's so tall now.

The nervous tension is almost too much to handle.

I can't read his expression. His hands are in his pockets, and he's standing really close to me.

He tilts his head slightly, and a small lock of hair falls across his forehead. "Amy... What are you doing here?"

~

Chingus, I'm so sorry for the wait... I've had family problems, health problems, and trying to move house, it's all been a little difficult... :( But I hope to finish the story of Amy and Joshua very soon! ^^ Thank you so much for your comments, they motivate me to write more... :')

Lots of love and hugs, I missed you guys. <3 ~ Anon