Breaking Boundaries •jb•

50; Back to Reality

                 

"They didn't rule it out because they thought they found something else,"

Hazel's POV:

"I have it,"

I watched as the words left my lips, Justin's tense posture relaxing as his mouth opened and my heartbeat sky rocketed.

I couldn't bring myself to say anything else as I waited for him to respond, my eyes watching when he pressed his lips together and his eyes dulled, a wavered breath leaving his mouth seconds before he spoke up.

"What do you...?" He trailed off, sighing and looking at me as I swallowed hard, my lips pressed together to indirectly motivate myself to pull it together but the more I looked at Justin the more I felt like I was breaking apart bit by bit.

My hand was still holding onto my suitcase handle, the wind blowing through my hair and against my face, leaving it cold due to the tear stains from a few seconds ago.

I stayed stationary in front of him, watching him struggle for words as my body craved the physical contact I knew I wasn't going to get.

I knew because the moment I proceeded to step forward to say something Justin put his hand out, stopping me in my tracks.

My stomach plummeted, weighing me down from the inside out as I whimpered quietly, wanting nothing more than the pavement to swallow me whole because it was then when I realised that coming to London was a bad idea.

It was in the way he shook his head at me before he asked me if I had cancer, my shaky nod putting a fast forward in the indirect repulsion he had to the idea.

"Justin please..." I pleaded quietly, sniffling as I stepped forwards and tried to get him to understand but then again what was there to?

I had cancer.

Simple as that.

"I...Hazel..." He stuttered, looking distraught which was ironic since he had been wrapped up with another woman minutes previously.

The reminder only had my heart breaking that little bit more, my feet suddenly stopping as I looked from his eyes down to his hands. His fingers clenched into his palm to produce a fist, a hesitated breath leaving my lips from the image I had created of them being on another woman.

It left me feeling sick, my insides feeling like they were twisting as Justin called my name and I shakily took a few steps back.

"Baby," Justin said just as he pulled me towards him when I bumped into my suitcase, a gasp leaving my lips as I felt my world fall apart in a matter of seconds.

"Don't touch me..." I mumbled just as I pushed his hands away from me but his hold didn't cease, instead only tightening on me as he tried to calm me down, "Justin, let go of me," I sniffled, tears pinching behind my eyes when he didn't, "Justin p-please,"

He let go as I whimpered, my feet stepping back as the tears pooling in my eyes slipped down my cheeks. My hands came up to wipe them at the same time Justin looked at me, his eyebrows pulled together as his concerned gaze held a stare on me.

"...Haze..." He started but I shook my head, sniffling harder as I tried to stop myself from crying but the overwhelming feeling of everything that was happening was overloading my mental state and I couldn't help but feel abandoned.

I felt my shoulders slump, Justin calling my name again as the helplessness of the situation dawned on me.

My eyes blurred, my hands shook and my lips parted. I could feel the tears spill over and onto my cheeks as I realised how stupid I was to come to London, how dumb I was to even consider my own selfishness over family and how I'd forgiven Justin so many times.