Losing Her Wings

Chapter 19

Ryan had been pretty much hating the party, after another successful team victory at their weekly game of basketball, finally having beaten the opposing team New Highs after three prior defeats, not really knowing why he was there. Of course, winning was a great thing, and it was worth celebrating, even though their traditions meant that the New Highs players were also there to celebrate - or more, drown their sorrows. But Ryan was not a party lover. He hated the usual cheerful festivities of the newly graduated seniors on the New Highs team from the city, the girly girls who never shut up or talked about anything interesting, he hated the gothic and sometimes Barbie girl songs that the warped DJ, who always seemed to be pre-booked before the game was played, chose to depress him with. And what made it worse…what really sent Ryan into the rare damaged brain, quiet loathing, verbally abusive side of himself that only came out when he had to suffer a party and had most likely been cornered by someone he truly hated…was that he was on his own. Not just because his team mates were busy having their regular celebratory drinking games in the kitchen so that they could go out into the garden to throw up, whenever that oh-so obvious event occurred. No, what he really hated about being alone, was the very fact that he was always alone.

Girlfriends were rare and didn’t last much longer than a few dates, although he’d had one or two relationships, actual relationships that reached the double digit weeks. Discarding the thought for a moment, he disappeared into the garden for his usual contemplation hour where he could escape the triviality and idleness of the party, and sank onto the sun lounger that almost always sat at the side of the shimmering blue pool, reflecting the full moon, which he noticed was surrounded by a red sky. At least there was one good thing to his night. Decent and reflective surroundings, a still peace of being away from the crowd. It was all too much to hope on. He just wished…he didn’t know why because he’d never wanted it before but, now it was something he craved more than anything…to simply have someone to share it all with. Not one of those random brainless girls he was constantly surrounded by but a real girl with real qualities…a girl who was a woman but who had the natural sweetness of a girl. That was all he wanted. What depressed Ryan the most, was that he had just turned twenty and he’d never met one girl who had even managed to keep his interest for more than a few days. There was no-one who he could instantly see himself with.

Ryan wasn’t looking for love. He didn’t believe in all the storyboard, fairytale falling in love and only being able to love one person, to really love one person for an entire lifetime. He couldn’t image that. He always got bored too easily, either by the way whoever his girlfriend was, seemed to only ever really care about how she looked or because she couldn’t hold a decent conversation about anything that wasn’t clothes or make up. He didn’t know how but he always ended up with the girls who were obsessed with money and cars, their looks and who would rather burn a book to save them from moving too far than read it. He had never found but always wanted a girl that could just lie next to him every night, talking about random but important things all night until she fell asleep, only to have him so dedicated and so captivated by her that he’d take a few quiet minutes to watch her sleep. He wanted a girl who didn’t need any effort. Someone who he didn’t have to try and impress, someone who had the same interests, likes and dislikes and who he could naturally get on with all the time. Sure he put on the fake act of being a real womaniser that girls loved to hate but eventually he knew he would have to face facts, he needed more than that. Skylar was an ideal target but her baggage had bothered him, particularly as he knelt over her, scared to touch her, worried that he’d said or done something to hurt her that had made her pass out, though he wasn’t sure how that was quite possible. Once he checked her pulse and realised it was still beating away however weak it was, he noticed her eyes were rolled back and fluttering away like crazy. He was about to get up and go for help when Joachim walked in.