How We Feel (ONGOING)

eight.

HER

Falling in love is simply a choice.

I fall for him without even knowing it. I just found out that hey I love this guy. It's basically realizing the importance of a person and discovering that you want him and need him at the same time. Yes, I put myself into risk but it felt good. It didn't felt like you were going to cross roads with the green light on.

And I break all my rules because of him.

When I first set my eyes on him I didn't knew that I would fall in love. Everything I said on interviews, on my friends, on my family, I ate all of them. Seriously, I didn't see myself being with him. All I do is to be friends with him and stay just like that. He is not my type, I admit that. He really didn't get my attention at all. I do have high standards but I'm not saying he's not qualified. It's just that my heart doesn't beat at all or am I just denying it for a long time because I'm afraid to get hurt again?

Cause I realized that two is really better than one.

He never knew how much I hated him whenever he is featured in issues with some random girls. I never knew that I'm already getting jealous but I hide it all throughout myself. He didn't knew that I get pissed off him whenever she talks about his girl crushes and at that time, I knew that I want him, mine. In a relationship, I am possessive. What's mine is mine. The time I knew he loves me, I got scared not because I've entered a relationship but because girls will be shooting daggers at me whenever we spill out our relationship. Girls go wild on him everytime. In tapings, mallshows, tours, anywhere.

In life, you got your friends who's always got your back. You got your family who's always there for you through good and bad times. And a special someone, who's going to complete you. That's all that matters in this world. And I have all of them, each of them. I know that James is only the missing piece and now that I have him, I won't waste any chances to give my best to love him and be there for him in our ups and downs.

Just remember, love yourself first.

James reminded me since we've met that I shoud love myself rather than love someone because he knew what I have been through from my past relationship. Up until now, he is still reminding me that.

Last week I texted Yassi that James and I were already a couple and she was screaming on the text message like I totally heard it. So she said the we would meet and talked about it so I am driving now to her house by myself. I didn't ask James to come with me because I want to have some girl time with Yassi.

I park my car outside and head straight to her front door. I ring the doorbell twice and she finally opened it. "Babe!" she yelled excitedly as she went to hug me.

"Yass!" I also said back and let go eventually.

"Don't waste your time standing there because I want to heard everything. Every single details," she said and pull me inside.

We head upstairs to her room and settle ourselves in the bed. "Now start."

So I started from the time he said to me his first I love you wayback in Paris and then him pursuing me all throughout the tapings and then the time we've confessed that we love each other. I didn't tell her why do I love him or why does he love me because she already knew that.