Needing Hope

The Party

Ryan took me upstairs all signs of playful banter had vanished since he pulled me out of the water. Ryan didn’t say anything as he carried me. Cole followed silently behind his head slightly down the same expression across his face as we walked.

Ryan kicked my door slightly causing it to swing fully open and he sat me at the end of my bed. He turned to walk out when I grabbed my confidence and cleared my throat.

“Ryan, are you okay?” I asked quietly.

He froze his hand on the doorknob, but didn’t turn around. He kept his back to me and slightly nodded. I stood and walked towards him hesitantly and rested my hand on his shoulders causing him to stiffen.

“I’m fine,” he said with severity.

I stepped back shocked at his tone. Darcy ran into my room and hugged me around the legs. I looked down at her and forced a smile.

“Hey Darc, you okay?”

“Yeah I’m fine. I just wanted to ask you if you wanted to play with me,” she said smiling at me.

“I don’t know…” I said looking at Ryan.

Except he wasn’t there my door was still open, but the spot where he had been was now empty. I took a deep breath and looked at down at Darcy and smiled, “Sure lets go play.”

After playing with Darcy for a few hours I walked up the third flight of stairs to see Cole sitting with his head in his hands. His head snapped up at the sound of my feet and his eyes widened slightly.

“You alright?” I asked stepping on another step so we were eye level.

“Yeah I’m just worried about Ryan,” he whispered.

“What’s wrong with him? It wasn’t even that bad I just fell into the water, I do that twice a week.”

“Did you ask him?” Cole asked leaning back on his elbows.

“Yeah he just said he was fine and snuck out when my little sister ran in,” I said still perplexed by his exit.

“Look if he wants to talk to you about it he will. Don’t badger him about it our else he’ll just push away even harder,” Cole said solemnly.

I ran my hair through my now dry hair, “I’m not good at this stuff that’s why I don’t date people.”

Cole laughed quietly, “A girl not good and handling people’s emotions. I thought that day would never come.”

I sat on the step I was standing and leaned against the wall, “I’m not good at dealing with sad or depressed people.”

Cole looked down the steps lost in his own thoughts, “Ryan used to be just like me, he was a player and you never saw that guy with a frown on his face. At parties he was the one who would light up the room and make everyone relax.”

I looked at Cole’s sad face and felt sadness of my own, not for Cole though but for Ryan. I knowing losing a parent must be hard and losing two at the same time must be unbearable. I leaned my head against the wall and closed my eyes not knowing what to say.

I heard footsteps and my eyes snapped open to see Ryan at the top of the stairs, “What are you two doing?”

“Having a party on the steps,” Cole said with a smirk.

“I need to get ready,” I said standing and walking up the stairs.

I heard the boys follow behind me and I saw Bailey walk out of her room. She glared at me, “Whore.”