From Books I Will Never Publish

Isn't it weird

I just think it's weird how the way your feelings for someone and the way you view them can just change. You could feel everything that is good and pure towards someone. You could love them, want to climb mountains for them, swim all of the world's oceans for them. you could write an entire book series explaining your love for    them. or better yet, not even be able to explain your love for them because it's so deep and so passionate that you wouldn't even know where to begin. But sometimes, all it takes is one word. One argument. One text message. One change in the weather. And it all comes tumbling down. All the happiness and warmth that person ever gave you is suddenly sucked out of you. Stolen. Leaving you feeling nothing but numbing cold. Whats even worse, is that there is no fixing of the connection. There is no fixing of what has been completely obliterated in every way possible. It's just you talking into a telephone with a cut off cord. It's you looking into a mirror with no reflection. It's you having a heart but not being able to feel a beat coming from it. It's the dark circles you get underneath your eyes because you're so exhausted from having to face that they're not there anymore. All of the color that person gave you is gone. All of the bright red and tangy orange and deep blues and purples; stripped away, leaving you color blind. it leaves this feeling inside of you. Like an out of focus camera, and no matter how hard you try the damn thing just won't focus. Like an alarm clock that just won't stop buzzing- screeching- directly in your ear. And no matter how many times or how hard you click snooze, it just won't turn off. you're stuck with this alarm clock. In the tiniest room you can think of. Nothing to focus on but the beep coming from it, slowly driving you mad. Until eventually you just can't hear it and you're left mentally unstable. that's what is left inside of you. Rawness. You can't even function normal.
and the saddest part is
you used to love them.