YuZhou Fan Fics

Silence

Zhouzhou and Jingyu enter their bedroom silently after a meeting with CJD. No one is willing to strike a conversation first. Silence is not a strange thing between them. They already find comfort in silence before. Just sitting near each other, sleeping beside each other, or staring at each other, they don't really need words to understand each other nowadays.

But tonight the silence is really not comforting. The air around them feels heavy. This kind of silence is a first for them and none of them knows how to handle it. Even the usual cheerful guy Zhouzhou can't find a single strand of strength to put on a smile, even the fake one.

They sit at the edge of their side of bed. Back facing against each other. Jingyu knows he need to explain his action but he can't find the right word to start. He clenches his hands together and gather his courage. He doesn't have much time left before leaving the dorm. Before leaving ZhouZhou.

From the beginning, he convinced himself to be Gu Hai. Everything he did, chose, said, thought, and even felt, they all belong to Gu Hai, not Huang Jingyu. That's the only way he knew to act out Gu Hai 100% since he didn't have any experience. He needed to be Gu Hai and it's not that hard because they have similar character.

That decision also had its own advantage. He could just fall into his feeling without questioning it. It's a part of the act anyway, that's how he convinced himself. His feeling is Gu Hai's feeling for Bai Luo Yin. Though he knows Zhouzhou's character isn't exactly like Bai Luo Yin's and he let himself found it cute, he still won't bother about his feeling.

Now, the filming comes to an end. If it's his old self, he could just walk away easily. But not this time. A part of him wants to stay, at that place, at that moment, beside that person. No one knows how much he wishes the time stand still but he decided to leave. He thought that staying will be Gu Hai's choice. He thought that leaving is the choice Jingyu would make. And he's Jingyu.

He never thought that by becoming Gu Hai would make him this confused about his own feeling. What is his real feeling towards Zhouzhou?

Being near Zhouzhou will only make him confused. He needs to find his old self first before he can come up with an answer. An answer that will satisfy his own heart.

"Can we talk?" he finally spoke.

Zhouzhou gave a hum to let Jingyu continue. Deep down he knows this time will come sooner or later. They are not Gu Hai and Bai Luo Yin and they live in a real world. He just never thought it will be this soon.

"Can you please look at me?" Jingyu ask while facing Zhouzhou's lonely back.

There's still no movement from Zhouzhou.

Jingyu loses his patient and just grab Zhouzhou's arm. Forcing that guy to face him properly. Startled, Zhouzhou meets Jingyu's gaze and almost feels like his tear will fall anytime soon.

He never thought about his own feeling before. He just enjoy being with Jingyu, playing around and having fun together. They could talk about anything. They joked about everything. He got close with Jingyu and being friend with him, even admire him and lean on him during the past few months. But he kept his feeling professional, or so he thought.

After CJD asked if Jingyu will be leaving this week, it's like his world crumbles to pieces. Parting is always hard but he never find it this hard. It's like he's missing a part of him already.

"Just talk," Zhouzhou try to hide his sadness with anger.

"You know it will happen. This is just a filming. This is not our life. What are you so angry about?"

Everything Jingyu planned to say is gone. Seeing Zhouzhou angry eyes is like a blade pierces right to his heart. It's so painful he almost loses his breath. He loses composure instead.

"Why didn't you talk to me? We talk about everything, everyday, and this important matter you just forgot to mention it?" Zhouzhou's voice is full with disappointment and it took Jingyu off guard.

"I... I'm sorry," Jingyu has no excuse.

They fall into silence once again. Their gazes stay stick together. Jingyu swears he could see pain in that guy's eyes. He regrets taking decision on his own. He realise it's just so selfish of him but it's too late. He can only ask forgiveness and hope Zhouzhou won't be mad for long. There's no much time to spent together.

"Don't you have anything else to say?"

That question surprises Jingyu. Is Zhouzhou not angry anymore? His voice is so calm he's like a different person from a few minutes ago.

"Ah, I'm sorry for not telling you sooner... But even after I leave, we're still friend. There's no difference. I give you my word."

Hearing Jingyu's answer, Zhouzhou can only hide his pain. It's already different if you are not here, he thought to himself. But he keeps his composure. He parted with his friends before and they're still friend until now. They left and have their own life but they could still hang out together once in a while. So why does he want to held on to this guy so much?

"When?"

Just that one word but Jingyu knows what the question is. "This weekend."

"That soon?!"

Seeing no anger in Zhouzhou's eyes anymore, bravely Jingyu pat that soft hair in front of him slowly. It's already a habit or perhaps a reflex for him to touch Zhouzhou whenever he gets a chance. The same with Zhouzhou.

"Don't worry. We'll keep in touch."

Zhouzhou looks at Jingyu's eyes. He can still see his own reflection like always. But not for long. He won't feel that person's warmth anymore. Suddenly he has an urge to ask Jingyu to stay. He opens his mouth but nothing comes out. His sudden thought almost scare him to the bone.

What did I want to say? Zhouzhou, are you crazy? Have you lost your mind? What right do you have to stop him from living his life? Why do you want him to stay anyway? Do you want to be... a couple?! With him?!

Jingyu sees something's wrong with Zhouzhou's expression. After being together for so long, he could tell just from a gaze. Something's odd. But before he regrets his next action, he pull himself backward. He decided to stop being Gu Hai, and the filming ends, but he almost kiss his partner in acting. So he just sit there, lock his gaze with Zhouzhou. They both try to keep calm and wish the silence won't let the other party hears their heartbeat going crazy.