Stimulate

Chapter 3 : Living Without You

Alex's POV:

"He said, I really don't care if you cut your hair
And I really wouldn't mind if we don't go anywhere
Cause I've got you, yeah, I've got you now
I've got you."

I brush my fingers through Fey's hair. Fey breathes gently, her chest lowers slowly. I inhale her sweet shampoo scent and cloak my blanket across us.

"And you think my bruised knees are sort of pretty
And I think your tired eyes are kind of nice
And when I first met you, there was a garden
Growing from a black hole in my mind."

I love this song. Halsey has a way of being calming and beautifully disturbing. Fey never knows the songs I sing to her, but nevertheless she still loves them. They help her sleep all the same.

Her fingers have seemed to entrap my dog tags again. This has become a reoccurring event whenever she allows herself to fall asleep here. Fey attempts to be independent. Plus it's very awkward if her neighbors never see her at her apartment.

Why not just live with me? Friends do that! It won't matter for long anyway!

I hear a small groan from Tiny wrapped in my arms. I stroke circles along her back.

"Said I love everything that you've got, boy
Tell me, would you be mine?
Be mine, be mine
Sick, sweet nothing's you're tryna talk, boy
Tell me would you be mine?
Be mine, be mine."

I kiss her forehead, brushing back some of the darker purple of her hair.
I still have no idea how she achieved Purple To Blue Ombre Hair. I love my pastel blue but her hair is so purple! I love purple.

Maybe I'll dye my hair later. I've had this color for too long.

"Sh my pwetty gal. I'm right here." Fey turns to press her back against my chest.

It was 2:55. I never liked to sleep for more than a few hours, five tops. My mind never rests so there isn't a moment I'm not aware.

I have lucid dreams. Being self aware in my dreams are fun. I can just control wherever it takes me. When something is happening around me glass starts to fall. As though the life I  actually have control of is crumbling.  This is very rare for people.

'Little Aly always had to be different.' One of the basic beliefs of my brother.

He kept everything in his life organized. Also having separate 'files' in his head. Nothing mixed, nothing was sugar coated. Just blunt facts. Let's just say Sergeant Alexander Vanoir only let me in.

Alexander and Alexana Vanoir. No not twins at all, just had a very unoriginal mom. Andrea Vanoir.

Everything was 'A.' We always had to achieve at every little thing.

Maybe that's why Alex won't come home. Maybe Mom drove him away until he was honorable enough for her.

At first when I lost him, it was the hardest feeling I've had to go through.  Mourning someone who isn't dead, but mourning someone that left you to crash hard down into reality.

Without my Feyy-bear I don't know where I'd be. She made the world freeze, she held her arms out to catch me from the grip of darkness.

I whimpered when I felt the cold hit my skin. I shivered, snapping out of my thoughts I find Fey is gone. The window adjacent to my bed is open, sending a wind soaring through my curtains into my warm room.

My little ice queen strikes again. How the hell does she sleep in the cold? No human, in New York, likes sleeping in a 30 degree room when warmth is an option.

I grasp my covers and pull it up to create my cocoon. Weaving my legs in the blankets to keep them in place.

"Uh did I just lose my spot?" I hear Fey's sleepy voice. A loud yawn echoes toward me.