Bullet Shot

PANGALAWA

I stared at the ceiling blankly. I feel like a zombie. Aside from feeling dead, I also know that I look like one today.

Feeling ko kagabi lang nag sync sa utak ko ang nangyari. I could not sleep because it's bugging me! I really want to tell the police, but I know it will just make my life messier. Dadamugin na naman ako ng walang katapusang reporters. Hindi ko din naman nakita ang itsura noong mga nakasakay doon sa sasakyan. Pati plate number 'di ko nakita. Talino ko 'di ba? Mas pinagtuonan ko pa ng pansin kung paano sila nagbarilan kaysa tignan ang plate number nila.

Bumangon ako at nag-inat ako ng pang maganda. The sun shines so bright that even my dark curtain slightly glows. I went to the bathroom and as soon as I saw my face, I screamed so ever loud that I can imagine the birds on the roof getting startled.

Is this true? I have very dark circles under my my eyes!

Nang kumalma na ako ay naligo na ako at nagbihis. I just wore a sports bra and a jacket. Nagsuot din ako ng aviator. Walang pwedeng makakita ng itsura ko! May taping ako ngayon kaya nanganganib ang mukha ko. Hindi ako pwedeng humarap sakanila na ganito ang itsura.

Paglabas ko ng kwarto ay nakahanda na si Juan at Chimay. Aba buti naman. Hindi pwedeng ako pa maghihintay sakanila. Excuse me.

"Miss. Tara na po" I just followed them to the van. Malayo ang pagte-taping-an namin ngayon. Sa isang forest. Vampire story kasi ang project ko. Ang partner kong si Gino, gumaganap bilang si Ken at ako bilang si Leila. Ngayon namin is-shoot ang eksena kung saan malalaman kong bampira siya.

"Miss. Ayaw niyo pong tanggalin aviator niyo? Wala naman na pong araw dito." Tanong ni Chimay. Tinaas ko lang siya ng kilay. Tumikhim ako at isinandal ang ulo sa headrest. I just watched the scenery change. From buildings to stop light to transport stations to bridges to forest.

The whole travel revolved with me having to take pictures in every IG worth place I would see. I suddenly remember when we stopped at a nude-ish pink wall to take a picture. My eyes captured a Ferrari that passed by. Masyado ata akong na-trauma at bigla akong natakot pagkatapos noon.

I didn't even stop again to any place after that.

Anyway, kaya din ako sikat na sikat ay dahil sa feed goals ako sa Instagram. Pangarap ko kasi talaga maging Blogger. Since gusto ko naman talagang course noon is Photography. Kaso.. I smiled bitterly. Nevermind.

The driver turned on the radio at saktong sakto A Thousand Years played.

I suddenly think of my ex. Wala lang. Everytime I hear that song, naalala ko ex ko. I was in a long term relationship before I dated Harrison. We were together since 2nd year highschool. It lasted for 3 years. It ended when my career as an actress started. Binigay ko sakanya lahat. 1st kiss, 1st holding hands, 1st boyfriend, 1st heartbreak. He slapped the idea to me that no matter how beautiful I am, how successful I am, there will be a time where I would never be enough for someone. Even though everyone envied me, gustong makuha ako, he chooses another woman over me. Ang laking sampal noon sa'kin.

Sa'kin nama'y wala na 'yon. I considered him as my lesson I needed to learn. I don't have any grudges on him and his girlfriend. But, I really can't be friends with them. I'm just not comfortable. I can't be friends with my cheater ex.

It's been 2 years already pero 'yung girlfriend niya hindi maka move on. She's still stuck on the same page while I'm now reading another book. Akala niya aagawin ko sakanya boyfriend niya. Ano ako tanga katulad niya? Wala ng balikan!

Nilabas ko ang mga make up ko at nag ayos. Nilagyan kong concealer ilalim ng mata ko para naman maitago yung eye bags. I can't be ugly infront of the people at the set. I'm their Queen. I should look like one.