memories are a very dangerous thing. jimin hated them, every point from his past making him wish he could go back in time, each making his heart sting uncomfortably within his chest. his breathing became burdened as vivid images of himself as a young boy came through, missing teeth and messy hair, and theres another young boy there, too. its yoongi, of course, always by his side. they're at the beach, chasing each other around with driftwood in their hands and laughing with the widest smiles they could possibly muster. they were so young, so happy. nothing to worry about. so different from now.
their childhood was a rather misleading one, making them think that they would have a bright future, being together, staying together. but things from then on werent so simple, though. especially with the kind of father jimin had at home. after his mother died, things with his father went south, his drinking got worse as time went by until the house always smelt like alcohol and so did he. jimin only found an escape within yoongis presence, their hang outs, their little adventures to the shore. but even those began to become useless with helping him deal with his home life. nothing was the same.
when jimin comes back into reality, he realizes hes still exactly where he always wants to be, sitting in yoongis arms, his head resting on the older boys shoulder. he sighs loudly in relief, and yoongi does nothing but holds him tighter. they didnt hold each other like this when they were kids, it was different now. back then jimin was too young to understand the difference between friendship feelings, and feelings of love. he definitely knew them now. he squeezed his eyes shut, pressing them against the fabric covering yoongis bony shoulder, creating a damp spot from his tears.
"im so sorry." yoongi whispers to him just like always, and he doesnt even have to explain himself for jimin to understand why he wanted to apologize. yoongi knows how jimins father is, how he acts, what he does. that alone is enough for a million apologies a day. yoongi just wishes he could protect jimin the way that he should be able to. he shouldve known that day when they were ten when jimin told him his father always smelled like beer that it was becoming a problem. unfortunately yoongis ten year old self was too young to understand the situation fully, let alone try and help out.
"do you remember our tree house?" jimin whispered brokenly, catching them both off guard. they hadnt broken their embrace yet so they werent even looking at each other, but they didnt have to. yoongi sucked in a sharp breath, "course i do, jiminie." he said gently, allowing the old nickname to slide easily off of his tongue. "i miss that sometimes." jimin mumbled into yoongis shoulder, referring to their childhood fortress. yoongi sighed lightly again, "me too, jiminie. me too." at his words jimin begins to sob into yoongis chest softly, making them both shake with his quiet cries.
yoongi holds him close, his hands moving up and down his back soothingly. yoongis house was the only safe place for them, and even then jimins father still made sure he couldnt go often, if at all. "remember when we jumped off the board walk and you screeched so loud that the neighbors heard just because the water was a little cold?"yoongi whispered, trying to lighten the situation in any way possible, although he seriously doubted that he could anymore. jimin chuckled hollowly, but it was a dry, humorless laugh. thats the only way he laughed nowadays.
jimin held his breath to stop his crying, and shut his eyes so tightly they began to sting in their sockets. "i love you." yoongi said to him, and jimins breath hitched in his throat just as he began to let it out again. he thought back to when they were kids, and to the time that those words had no weight to them. "i know you do." he responded shakily, voice quiet and chest set ablaze under the burning weight of the feelings in his heart.
trying hard not to fall
on the way home, you were trying to wear me down, down
