Coffee

Like Coffee Without Sugar

Hey guys I haven't updated in a while because I'm starting some new fanfics but don't worry, I'm not abandoning it. I hope you check out my other fanfics and follow for more stuff! Yes that was a cheap self promo, moving on. Thank you guys so much for the reads. I never thought anyone would even read this, but on to the chapter. The feels are waiting.

   It was a beautiful Summer day. Brendon said he was taking you out for a surprise so you put on the sundress he likes and sandals. He slipped a blindfold over your eyes and took you to his car. You drove the whole way guessing what the surprise was and loudly singing along to your favorite songs. Soon you had reached your destination and you stumbled into his chest as he helped you out of the car. He held you there for a moment and whispered "no peeking" softly into your ear. He got something from the trunk and brought you someplace warm. It was quiet except for the sound of waves and seagulls. He wrapped one arm around you and used the other to slip off your blindfold. It was beautiful. A blanket with a picnic basket, two wine glasses, and a bottle of wine set out on top of it. It was right on the beach, in a quiet sunny spot. The water was clear blue and the sand was white and clean. It was beautiful. "Happy five month anniversary baby" he hugged you tighter to him and you nuzzled into his neck. "Thank you so much B" you cooed "I love you" "Not ever nearly as much as I love you" he whispered. It was absolutely amazing. You sat on the blanket and he poured you a glass of wine and one for himself. He had brought all of your favorite foods. You talked about how much you loved each other and everything else in your life. It was beautiful. Suddenly, he kissed you passionately. You loved how he always held your chin, and how his hair was so soft, and how he loved you so much. This is the best day of my life.

It's said if you don't let it out
You're gonna let it eat you away

   Brendon pulled away and rolled his eyes. "Just get it" he giggled. You got your phone and hit answer, not bothering to look at the caller ID. "Is this the family of f/n y/l/n?" a lady politely said. "Yes I'm y/n y/l/n, who's calling." "This is an emergency call, f/n y/l/n passed away two hours ago"

   You couldn't do anything but cry. The phone dropped to the ground. Brendon quickly wrapped his arms around you and held you to his chest while stroking your hair. "It's ok baby, don't cry. I'm here, what happened" his voice was clearly shaken. He cared so much he cried when you cried. He understood. "My-my father he-he's dead. He's DEAD" you yelled "AND IT'S ALL MY FAULT! HE COMMITTED SUICIDE BECAUSE OF ME! MY ONLY FAMILY LEFT! HE'S GONE!" Brendon held you tighter. "Don't you ever blame this on yourself. Never. This wasn't your fault, you didn't do anything wrong. Sometimes bad things happen, like your mom getting sick. And sometimes because of that, more bad things happen, like your dad getting depressed. No matter what happens though, it isn't your fault. You couldn't hurt anyone. Don't blame yourself." Brendon softly cooed. You sobbed into his chest for half an hour, then nuzzled into his neck, mewling and shaking all over. Brendon held you suffocatingly tight the entire time and occasionally whispered "it's ok baby" and "I'm here baby, it's ok" and other sweet things. He still held you tight after all this time. "Never let go" you whispered into his neck and snuggled into his arms. "I wasn't planning on it" he whispered back. You stayed there for another half hour before quietly pulling away and holding his hand bone-crushingly tight. He held yours with the same strength. He wiped your eyes clean with a handkerchief and kissed your forehead. He softly whispered in your ear "wanna go home?" You whispered back "no, not yet" and you sat there. Staring into the sunset above the sea. Listening to the waves and screeching gulls. He hummed a low note in the back of his throat before it began to rise and fall. It blended with the sound of the ocean and the wind, slowly becoming one beautiful sound that carried away your sadness.

This is gospel
For the fallen ones
Locked away in permanent slumber
Assembling their philosophies from pieces of broken memories

   The melody was soft and quiet. You stared out at the waves and you rested your head on his shoulder. Without thinking, you joined in. Your higher voice making the two part melody blend.

Woah-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
This is the beat of my heart
This is the beat of my heart
Woah-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
This is the beat of my heart
This is the beat of my heart

Their gnashing teeth
And criminal tongues
Conspire against the odds
But they haven't seen the best of us yet

   At this point it was a full-on duet. Perfectly blended soft sounds that rose and fell together. You held his had tighter and he returned the gesture by swinging his arm over you so your arms were a loop that hung loosely around your shoulders.

If you love me let me go
If you love me let me go
Cause these words are knives and often leave scars
The fear of falling apart
And truth be told, I never was yours
The fear, The fear of falling apart

Woah-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
This is the beat of my heart
This is the beat of my heart
Woah-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
This is the beat of my heart
This is the beat of my heart

This is gospel
For the vagabonds,
Ne'er do wells,
Insufferable bastards
Confessing their apostasies
Led away by imperfect imposters

It was this sad song you sang to the sun and the stars. Your mother was there, among the stars. She was always burning bright in the sky. She approved of Brendon. You could tell, a bright star just beginning to appear as the sun set winked. She would protect you and him. She knew he was the one who saved you. Suddenly, as more stars begin to appear, there is another star very close to the first one. So close, they were touching. Mom and Dad. It wasn't your fault. I swear, it was never your fault.

Woah-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
This is the beat of my heart
This is the beat of my heart
Woah-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
This is the beat of my heart
This is the beat of my heart

Don't try to sleep through the end of the world
And bury me alive
Cause I won't give up without a fight

If you love me let me go
If you love me let me go
Cause these words are knives and often leave scars
The fear of falling apart
And truth be told I never was yours
The fear, the fear of falling apart

Woah-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
The fear of falling apart
Woah-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
The fear, the fear of falling apart

Woah-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
(This is the beat of my heart)
The fear of falling apart

Woah-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
The fear of falling apart

The tears came back. This time not as aggressively, but they still rolled down you cheeks. Brendon tightened his arm around you and wiped away your tears. "B? You see those two stars?" you whispered. "Your mom and dad" he whispered "they liked your song" and that was simply how you knew he loved you. He knew, he cared, he loved you. You loved him. It was the best worst day of your confusing life. You would rather be erased from time than have a different life though, you could never live without Brendon. And truth be told, he could never live without you.

The fear of falling apart.