A Call for Help

Chapter Nine: Fear

Samantha was beginning to think Johnathan had left her. It had only been a day, but memories from the past put doubts in her mind. She remembered how Andrew had held her hand, how he'd promised he always be by her side. Now she realized she hadn't listened to him, and it made her feel terrible.
She hadn't pushed Johnathan away like she had Andrew, but she still feared he'd betray her. Now her mother was gone to. She may not have been completely right in the head sometimes, but she was still her mother.
Then Samantha thought about something that was very possible. Something that made it so much worse. Maybe it was her fault her mother was dead. What if her mother had received the news that she was in the hospital and tried to rush there, causing the accident.
Tears came to her eyes. She tried to stay quiet but couldn't. At that moment Lily came in. Instant motherly action was taken by Lily. She walked over, wrapping Samantha in a hug and whispering soothingly in her ear. Samantha hugged her back, letting the tears flow from her eyes.
After a few minutes, Samantha calmed down again. Lily slowly moved her arms back to her side and wiped the remaining tears away. Samantha smiled and Lily smiled back.
"You alright," Lily asked sweetly and caring. Samantha nodded, afraid that if she spoke she would cry again. After a few moments she trusted herself to stay calm. She'd wondering something for a couple days.
"What is today," she asked Lily.
"It's Sunday. I work all week so if you ever need me, let me know alright?"
"Okay." Maybe that's why Johnathan wasn't showing up. It as the weekend. She still had her fears though. She hated being afraid, but that and sadness was all she knew anymore.
Well, there was also that weird pressure in the stomach, the haziness of the mind, heart racing feeling that she got around Johnathan. It made her more afraid. She knew what it meant.
She thought about something Johnathan and Lily had said. You're mother's in a better place now. Yea right... She was an atheist. She didn't believe in anything religious.
It hurts when your prays aren't answered for months, let alone years. But when you think you're prays are answered and it all turns out to be a lie, that's even worse. That's why she'd given up on her faith. Her church said her faith was weak.
How about you go through what I've been through. You'll think twice about calling me weak. She thought to herself.
What made it worse, for about a week her mother continued to take her. The priest had looked at her like she was conspiring with the devil or something. Not only that, but the topic of how strong your faith was, came up often during that time. He targeted her.
She wondered what Johnathan was. Christian, atheist? Was he solidly built on his faith? She wished she knew. He was so friendly to her. She wanted to make it up to him, but didn't know how.
There was that feeling again. She knew what it was called, but was afraid to admit it. The feeling, was love.