I can't see that you truly love me (A Mike Fuentes LS).

5

-a couple days later-

I was getting out of the hospital today. And I couldn't fucking wait. As I laid in the bed waiting for the guys to come and get me, I looked out of the window on my door. You could just barely see it when the doctors ran by, wheeling a bed in-front of them.

I always wondered what happened to the people being wheeled past my room. I always wondered what they were going through. If it was just for surgery, a broken bone, rape, or whatever else. I never really thought of rape as being that big of a deal, but now that I'm the one experiencing it, I'm finding out how horrible it really is.

I sat up in the bed as I heard movement coming from outside my door, followed by faint talking. A couple seconds later, my door was opened and Mike, Vic, Jaime, and Tony walked into the room. I forced on a faint smile. "How'ya feelin?" Mike asked. I shrugged. I couldn't bring myself to speak, my throat was still killing me from all the screaming.

After a couple minutes, a nurse came in with a wheelchair. She helped me into it, then wheeled me out to the car. I shakily climbed inside, followed by Jaime and Tony. It was a silent ride back to the RV. The guys tried to talk to me, but I really didn't want to say anything. Once we got back to the RV, I climbed out of the car myself and stumbled into the door. I walked inside, and straight into the bunk room and into mine and Tony's bunk. I laid in bed for hours, staring into space, completely zoned out to the rest of the world. I was like a zombie; not living, but merely existing.

I heard the slight squeak of the door opening, but didn't bother to look and see who it was. "Mike's going to catering... do you want anything?" I heard Tony whisper, kneeling by the bed. I shook my head, and he left after giving me a small peck on the forehead.

Days had passed, and I refused to leave from the safety of my bed. Unless, of course, it was to shower. Over the course of my seclusion, he'd asked Jaime and Vic to try to talk me out of bed, but nothing worked. Mike was a bit angry with me for not taking his advice and staying the hell away from Max, I'm guessing.

"If you're not gonna leave, at least eat something, Mari..." Tony pleaded, laying a plate of food in my lap. He never knew about my previous eating disorders; I had begged Mike not to tell him. I sighed, slowly sitting up in the bunk as I took the fork from his hand. A slight smile grew upon his face as I took the fork away from him. He left me alone to eat, then came back a little while later to take away the dirty dishes, along with give me a bottle of water, which I didn't drink, not wanting to have to get out of the comfort and safety of my bed to go to the bathroom.

"Why don't you get out of bed, Maria?" Jaime asked one morning. I didn't answer, I just laid there, motionless, my eyes heavy. I hadn't slept in just over four days. I wasn't thinking straight. I was delusional. I wasn't functioning properly. I was terrified of sleep; terrified of reliving that moment.

Day six of my self-inflicted solitude, I could hear Tony just outside the door of the bunk room. He sounded pissed. Not used to him being that way, I listened to his conversation.

"Please, just talk to her!" he whisper-yelled.

"Why, Tony? It's not my fault that happened! I told her not to go with that guy!" It was Mike.

"You went and got her, didn't you?! Don't tell me you don't care about her, because you do!"

"Of course I got her, I wasn't just gonna let her die! Tony, she's your sister. I care about you. You weren't gonna go get her, you didn't even fucking know she was with that asshole!"

"Mike, please. I don't know what else to do." Tony pleaded, his voice getting softer and cracking as he spoke. "Fine." Mike sighed, and shortly after the door opened. I didn't bother looking, I knew it was him. I felt the bed sink as he sat next to me, indian-style. He didn't say anything, and I didn't say anything back. Even if he was mad at me, it was still nice to have someone there, not hassling me to eat or begging me to get out of bed.

"Why are you locking yourself away like this, Maria?" Mike eventually asked. I frowned, looking towards him to see he was staring at me as well. "Like I'd tell you." I mumbled. "What the hell does that mean?" he asked, his voice getting a bit louder. "Just get out." I demanded, rolling over. I'm not sure why I was being so mean to him, I guess I just didn't want to accept the fact that he was right.

"I'll get out when you get out of bed." he stated. I shook my head, pulling the covers over my face. "Tell me, tell my why you've been putting my bandmates through hell these past few days." he demanded. "Your bandmates?!" I shouted, sitting up in the bunk. "Your fucking bandmates? What about me?! You have no fucking idea what I'm going through! If your bandmates are going through hell, then please, tell me what the fuck I'm going through!" I screamed, slamming myself back down on the bed. "You tell me!" he yelled. "I'm filth!" I screeched, pulling the covers back over my head. "I'm fucking filth! I'm tainted, Mike. He took the one thing I was saving. He stole it from me, like candy from a goddamn baby!" I broke down in tears, covering my face with my pillow to muffle my screams. "I hate myself!" I screamed into the pillow. "You're still a virgin, in my eyes, Maria." he whispered, his voice calmer than it was a minute ago. I pulled the pillow away from my face, shooting him a confused look. "...what?" I asked in-between sobs. "It's like if I took one of your plugs or some shit. I would have it, but it would still be yours." he started. "it would still belong to you, it would belong to you until you chose to give it away. That's a pretty shit example, but you get what I'm saying, right?" he asked. His words cheered me up a bit. He'd given me hope. I wasn't filth. I was tainted, yes. But I wasn't dirty, I was still the same old Maria. "But that won't stop everyone from pitying me, Mike." I started. He growled under his breath. "Jesus, Mari. If you want things back to normal, then make things back to normal. Get the hell out of this bed and live your life." he stated. "It's not rocket science." he whispered. I found myself demanding for him to leave, which he did. I'm not sure if it was because I was mad because he was right, or because I realized how much of an idiot i'd been these past few days. I laid in bed for a few more minutes, thinking about everything that had just happened. I sighed, rolling over in the bunk.

Mike was right. If I wanted my life back to normal, then I needed to start acting normal and get on with my life.

A/N: Ugh, short chapter. Okay, like, my moms gonna think I got raped or something if she ever goes through my history because all of the shit I've Googled for this, omg. ;-; Well anyways, I hope you're enjoying the story. c: