The Passion of London [Highlander's Love #1]

Chapter 6

"You're a disgrace, Connor. I'm not even sure if I should still retain you as my first. You've been a moon ever since we arrived here! It's no wonder you've refused to return to England for so long, if that's what it's air does to you."

Hammond's disgust was clear in his voice as he paced the room where Connor was propped up against the large bed frame, wincing with each movement he made. The redhead angel of his dreams had dashed forward the moment he had been felled by Hammond, unable to get up without causing his blood to flow freely. Apparently, there wasn't a healer for miles around, resulting in her patching him up. Much to his confusion however, the Viscount insisted on watching over her as she tended to him, citing that he couldn't leave a guest in the care of just a servant.

She was just a servant? Somehow, she did not strike Connor as a servant at all. Yet the way she meekly tended to him did not remind him of the vibrant, vivacious girl who had taken root in his thoughts almost all the time by now. Did the Viscount mistreat her? The very idea had Connor clenching his fists, and would've continued doing so if it didn't cause pain to the injury in his arm.

"Connor Gilroy!"

Hammond's sharp tone sliced through Connor's daze of thoughts, his eyes focusing to meet his laird's angry look. "What is wrong with you Connor? Whatever it is, you need to get it out of your system because you are not fit to continue being my first if this is how you're going to behave."

"How?"

"Like a mooning child! Your attention is sparse, you almost got yourself killed out there for Heaven's sake! It was an attack you could've blocked in your sleep on usual days!" Hammond growled, stalking closer to glare at his brother in arms and closest friend. "It was why I didn't hold back until the last second. Just what is the matter with you?"

"I..." he tried to explain. But how could he tell Hammond of she who consumes his thoughts, his mind, his very consciousness? She who he still could not put a name to. "I'm sorry. I've been amiss in my duties, but I will not again, Laird."

"Connor." his formal tone made Hammond bite back his words, a little guilt coloring his words now as he took a seat next to his captain's bed. "I don't mean to reprimand, but this is completely unbecoming. Father would've had your head if he sees you losing it to a lady."

"It is not-" 

"Don't lie to me. I know you well, brother. She was the reason why you didn't focus during our sparring, was she not?" Hammond interjected with a knowing glare. Defeated, Connor didn't seek to defend himself, and his silence was agreement enough for Hammond.

"You know Father's story. Women are no luck. They have no place in our life."

"Do you plan to never have bairns then? Never have an heir?" Connor couldn't resist but to put that question to him. Hammond's features darkened, averting his eyes for a quick moment before he responded. "I will cross that bridge when the time comes. At most, I'll pick a comely, quiet lass who will not disturb me."

He paused, his grip tightening on the belt of his kilt. "You've seen their affect, Connor. You know they aren't good for our system. They make men lose focus, lose their heads, lose their rationality! Father lost his will to survive when he lost Mother to pneumonia." Even till today, Hammond still held the idea that his Father's lost to the Drummonds was in part due to his grief at the lost of his wife. 

"Is your parent's love not proof enough that women are good for men, though?"

"I would rather still have Father around, then to lose  them both at the same time."

In a way, Connor had to admit the truth in Hammond's words. His heart empathized with the guarded way his laird now held himself, as he always did whenever the topic of his parents were brought about. In a way, Connor did not blame him, for Quinlan MacKenzie's death still hung heavily over his heart as well. With a sigh, the captain nodded his head slowly. "I understand, brother. I will no longer... moon over this topic."