is suiside really the answer

Is Suicide Really The Answer?

Hello, my name is Violet and I'm 14 years old. People say I'm weird, shy and can be quite scarey when I get mad. People try to stay away Which can be quite lonely. I guess you can call me a loner or what ever. I don't have many friends and the ones I do have don't always understand what I go through every day. But they still stick up for me when they can.

Sometimes I think that I'm a magnet for getting bullied. Everyday these two girls, Ashley and Abby are always after me. Making jokes about how I dress, the way I look, that I'm really stupid, and that no one will ever love me. Their comments make me think that people don't want me here on earth, so I often have suicidal thoughts. These thoughts got worse as the days passed after a full week of getting bullied by the girls. I started to cut myself and people i didn't even know noticed. They called me an attention seeker and freak. And I got bullied even more from Ashley and Abbey.

After a really bad day of school, where so many people were picking on me, I ran home before school ever finished, I make a farewell video and posted it on facebook so everyone would know what they did to me. And I grabbed my mother's pills and I took all of them. I heard the ambulance coming down the road but little do they known I already took the pills so there was nothing they could do for me now. Then I heard people banging on the bathroom door. I thought to myself why am I not dead yet. So I grabbed the first sharp object that I could find and cut my neck as soon as they broke down the door. Everyone came running to me and I'm there unconscious lying on the floor with blood gushing everywhere . They rushed me to the ER.

When they got me to the ER I already lost a lot of blood. I had just regained consciousness and they were trying to keep me awake. They took me into immediate surgery were they had to pumped my stomach and then they had to try to stich my neck closed to stop the bleeding.

When I came out of surgery they still did not known if the procedures were a success. It took me a little bit to wake up from the surgery. But when I did I was questioned by so many people as to why I tried to kill myself. But what people did not understand, was that it was the bullying that I received by many people that made me this way and made me so depressed. I was not allowed to leave the hospital until they evaluated me to see if I would harm myself or others. But when that happen they told my parents that I was not allowed to be left alone until they had established that I will not try to commit suicide again. Once I left the hospital, I had to go to a mental hospital for a week to learn coping skill and strategies to get rid of all of the negative thoughts I had. When I got back home everybody treated me like I was actually a real person. It actually felt pretty good to be back home and now I'm happy. I still have those days where I stop and think where did I go wrong. But I now know that suicide is not the answer. What the answer really is, is that there are people here that can provide support for me and all I need to is ask for help.