The Player's Secret

Chapter 18: I dared to say

"So I get that you won't tell me anything, and although that is certainly not how things will go, I'll play your little act for the day."

I averted my eyes as the crunch of branches cracked under my feet. After taking a long nap I woke up to find that Ace hadn't slept a wink, he was just laying there starring at me in worry. I don't know why he cares so much, I was just a screw toy to him, nothing more.

Anyway, we had made a deal that I would take a break on my annoying girlfriend routine and he wouldn't bring up the undeniable bruising on my torso for the day. He seemed like he wanted to distract me, so that's what led to me taking him to my favourite trail in the forest.

Yes, this was typically me and Derek's place but I felt a compelling need to take him here. I hated to admit it but I liked Ace more than I could express and showing him this trail, this part of me, was a big deal. Of course I would never tell him that, I don't want to scare him away. I'm surprised he hadn't already run for the hills, but he was here, and I wanted to take advantage of it before he got bored and left.

"You promised you wouldn't bring it up," I whispered, my eyes finding the clearing ahead of us and staying there. I knew he must be judging my pathetic life by now, and I didn't want to see it in his eyes. It would hurt too much.

I felt Ace's hand as it slid up my back and curled around my shoulder, bringing me to him in a warm side hug. I could hear him breathe deeply, accepting the reality of our deal, "Okay, then we could just talk," He had sounded like he was going to go on but his words cut short as we entered the clearing, our feet reaching the edge of the cliff where the beautiful valley began. "Woah" Was all he seemed to be able to say.

"I know, it's beautiful isn't it?" I laughed, finally looking up at his dazzling face. His gorgeous eyes were wide as the swept the plains In front of us, taking everything in.

I pulled away from him, Ace not seeming fazed as he continued to look out at the horizon. Taking a seat at the edge I dangled my feet over, leaning forward just enough to look at the vast depth bellow.

Soon Ace found a seat beside me, he was hesitant at first, probably questioning the safety of it all but soon he settled and once again had his arm around me.

"Can you tell me why I've never seen you before. I know I wasn't born here, but I have been here for at least two years, I'm sure I would have seen you somewhere. You have to be new."

I thought for a moment, questioning how much I really wanted to tell him. I didn't want Ace to know how much of a failure I was, how much of a failure I am.

"I went away for a year, transferred to a school in England," Was all I dared to say.

I looked back up at him to see him already staring at me, "I suppose that makes sense. Why did you? For the fun of it? Maybe family?" He wondered.

What do I say now? "I- uh..." Can he ever just accept what I tell him and leave it at that?

Suddenly his arm tightened around me and his fingers curled around my chin, lifting my head up so I could see him properly, "You know you can tell me anything right?" He promised.

"Yeah, but why do you care? In a week, or maybe even a month you will be bored of me and moved on. I feel like the more I tell you, the more it will hurt when you leave, or maybe, it will make you leave faster."

Ace sighed, "How do I get that out of your head? Bandit I can't tell you what will happen a month from now, or a year from now, but I can tell you that what I feel for you now, isn't something I've felt before and it sure as he'll isn't something I plan to give up without a fight. I get that this is hard for you to believe, but I promise that you can trust me."

His words sounded genuine and I hated when he went on those rants. They seemed to take all the air out of my body and turn all my insides into liquid. It made my lips weak, and I could never protect words, or secrets from coming out. Ace didn't know this but I already did trust him, I just didn't trust myself, i didn't trust that he wasn't going to find a better girl, it sure as hell would t be hard to. I was nothing, I was simply just a chase.

"Ace-"

"Bandit." He stopped me, "I want to know you, I want to know everything."

I took a deep breath, already knowing I had lost to him. There were only few things I could keep from him, but I had thought this was one of them. "I went for rehab..."

His eyes widened a fraction, his gaze catching mine in a search for answers. He was confused, I suppose that was understandable. I wanted to continue, but what if this is what finally makes his mind go sane and make him realise that I'm a total mess, one that wasn't worth it.

"So drugs...? Or..." He muttered, his mind still reeling for possible answers.

"No." I stopped him, not wanting him to junk I had been a total druggie before we had met, "I had this issue with... Uh... I wasn't exactly what you would call happy." It was hard to find my voice to finish my statement but surprisingly after it was out, I didn't regret it.

I knew he would leave, the time would pause and he would find an excuse to get out of here, or maybe he would be rude like I had heard he did with other girls. He would tell me I was a mess, an attention seeker, or maybe he would go for the classics and just call me a loser.

And with that Ace stood up and took a step back.

So.... Uh.... Hi again????

Comment with any questions