They say time heels every wound, if you just have patience and stay strong.. Yet, I could just laugh at people gullibility, knowing that all the sayings in the word will never be fully true.. At least not for me.. Not only didn’t time heal me, but it weakened me even more..
I was so confused about all that happened.. I would never have imagined that destiny would make such a foul out of me, throwing me in a endless black hole.. All this time I’ve been trying to forget everything and now it came back to me in a new shape, more painful for me to resist..
As I was walking by the lake, I kept thinking at every detail, trying to understand this stupid puzzle.. I guess I had no chance to make things clear.. And now I couldn’t even continue, because of that warm breath that was coming closer and closer, touching my neck..
I tried to escape, but ended up in his arms, being so weak, not able to fight back my feelings.. It was coming back to me, poisoning my soul once more.. Even his soft voice couldn’t help me now..
I should just let out all the sorrow that kept aging my soul, so that I could finally breathe again.. I was feeling the tears falling down slowly, as he whispered in my ear: “My love!”
He was again in front of me, after all this time, looking the same way, like everything else that was a part of the play. Only this time, I saw him in a totally new light.. This time, we had a new bond that kept us connect, one that we never formed, but still it was there.. We were now in-laws…
“Don’t go!”
Me: “I have to! I can’t do this.. ”
“Stay, please!”
I looked at him.. He raised his hands, cupping my face, leaning over slowly, waking up the sweet desire that once ruled our hearts and bodies..
I just knew that I will never be able to let go… I knew that I’ll forever be a sinner, because I would never be able to love Kai.. Just because.. I’ve always loved him, my heaven’s deer, Luhan..
Me: “How have you been?”
Luhan: “Living.. or pretending to..”
Me: “How’s she?”
Luhan: “She’s no more..”
I raised my head, looking at him surprised..We sat on the ground, talking about all these years, trying to fill up this hole in our story.. I was feeling so sad, hearing how he’s been living, blaming myself for always thinking that he had a great life and he didn’t even remember my existence..
Yet, every night he would sleep with my photo by his side, calling out my name everytime he felt he’ll lose his hopes, fighting against destiny having my memory as shield, his love for me as weapon..
Luhan: “Would you ever forgive me?”
Me: “What for? It was your choice.. Although.. I feel that I would’ve at least deserved to hear that from you, instead of reading it on a piece of paper.. You never told me why…”
Luhan: “Indeed… I never told you why I left.. I lied to you, when I wrote the last note.. I didn’t get back because I loved her.. I got back because I couldn’t leave her.. She needed me..”
Me: “I understand.. but.. how did she..”
Luhan: “After I decided to remain by her side, hurting you instead, things got worse.. She would use every chance she had to threaten me about taking her life, if I’ll dare to leave her.. And one day, she just ran away.. I never knew who the man was.. Few days later I’ve heard the news about the accident.. And I’ve been alone ever since then.. 9 years… ”
Me: “You never looked for me..”
Luhan: “How could I? I heard from your friend that you were getting married.. I didn’t had the courage to hurt you again, coming into your life in such a moment.. And now..”
Me: “Now it’s too late…”
We both knew that, but it was so painful to admit it.. I rested my head on his shoulder, while he kept telling me about him.. He even touched that one subject that I tried to avoid.. His brother, Kai..
They’ve loved each other very much, but Luhan never tried to get back to his family again, after all that happened, choosing to live all by himself, hiding from the world..
His family didn’t get any news from him anymore, as if he just disappeared. And now, when he finally had the chance to reunite with Kai, he found me..
Luhan: “I will never hurt him! After this trip is over.. I’ll go..”
Me: “He won’t know.. this must be our last encounter.. I am really grateful to you, for telling me the truth about your departure.. At least I know you didn’t hurt me on purpose..”
Luhan: “Thank you.. for being in my brother’s life.. He’s a good person.. He’ll protect you and love you more than I would be able to..”
He stood up and gave me his hand to help me.. The night was witnessing the ending of our story.. We hugged one last time… While he was holding me tight, trying to make this last longer, I made him startle when seeing who was behind him..
“Kai?”
