this ones for you

forests

he thought it might
be productive
if he planted
dense forests
inside my mind,
so that maybe
i could bloom
by the time summer
rolled around
and would have
an excuse
to love me again.
he thought the
newly formed life
that would make home
out of the walls
of my brain
could sweet talk
the demons
into letting me free
so that he
could love me
unconditionally
and perhaps forever.
he didn't realize
the branches
would tear me up
from the inside out
more so than
i already was,
or that the roots
would be so
deeply outstretched
and latched onto
even the smallest
parts of him
that i couldn't help
but not let go.
he wanted to
teach me how to
thrive on my own
without the help
of anyone else,
but the water he
sprinkled onto me
was spun into a love
i poured right back
into the cracks
of his self image.
i thought maybe
he was beginning to
think more of me
but i soon came
to realization
that the hope
i had felt ignite
inside my lungs
just happened to be
what was caught
between the leaves
inside my head,
and the fact that
he never actually
cared about me
yet provided such
a false sense of
protection
scared me to pieces;
collapsing onto
the cold tile floor,
becoming more
acquainted with the
way it felt
against my cheek
than the feeling
of his arms
wrapped around me.
im petrified the forest
will wither in the winter
without the warmth
of his body
curled up against mine.