Outlaw Queen AU's

Moving On

Sorry I haven't updated, my life just keeps getting shittier and shittier each week. I had a family tragedy, that luckily ended happily when it shouldn't have. Someone somewhere is looking out for my family, not sure who or what. But anyway I sincerely apologize because it's been a whirlwind of a week so far. But without further ado here's the next one shot for all of you!

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I woke up to emptiness on the side of my bed. Then I remembered that he was gone, the love of my life, my soulmate, was gone. The only thing left for me to remember him by was his adorable little, dimpled son, Roland. Roland was a trooper, throughout the past couple months he has been so strong under the circumstances. But today might be different, today is the anniversary of Robin's death, and even I was feeling a lot more somber than I normally was.

I decided to get up and make breakfast, as tired as I was I was just as hungry. But as I walked down the hallway past Henry's old room I could hear tiny muffled sobs. Roland's I figured, he must remember it's the anniversary of his death too. I've never forgotten the day and apparently much to my dismay neither has Roland. I hoped for so long that after a year he might just forget, eventually he forgot about his mother. But Roland had, no he still has, a special connection with his father. One that he never had with his mother, whom he never knew. Part of me, my selfish side, hoped that eventually he would see me as his mother. Now that Robin's dead I don't think he wants another mother or father, the poor kid doesn't have a good record with loved ones.

So when I walked into Roland's room I saw him sobbing into his pillow. It's been so long since I had been a mother, of a grieving child nonetheless. So I was a little rusty when it came to the whole comforting thing.

"Roland baby are you okay?" I asked him, I kicked myself because obviously he was not okay, neither was I. Like I said a little rusty on the comforting thing.

"I miss daddy, Gina." He sniffled, finally taking his face out of his pillow. He turned to face me and I could see his little red puffy eyes. I pulled him onto my lap and ran my hands through his matted bed head. He leaned in and sobbed into my chest, like he used to do with Robin. I felt a tinge of guilt go through me because it should be Robin here comforting him over my death, not vice versa. But instead I mustered the only words I could,

"I miss him too Roland, but he wouldn't want us to be sad, he would want us to be happy." I explained. I was the opposite of happy, but I wanted to put a brave face on for the boy. Roland didn't deserve any of this, and I probably am not the best one to teach him about grieving. The only time I ever grieved was when my mother killed Daniel, and then I dealt with it by turning Evil and killing everyone standing in my way. I didn't want Roland to grieve the way I did, I made it my vow that when Robin died I would watch over his kids. Unfortunately Zelena is not letting go of her daughter anytime soon. Robin loved that little girl, and Zelena had done nothing but treat him badly ever since that girl was conceived. In fact my whole "family" has treated me differently since the events that occurred a year ago. Roland has been the only one there for me, and I him. So after drifting in my own thoughts, and in complete silence, Roland snapped me out of them.

"Gina, can we go visit daddy's grave?" He asked me. I wanted to say no, not sure if it would be the best thing to do for the both of us. Maybe it was too soon to visit his grave, but maybe it would be Roland's way to move on. So despite my instinct, I agreed.

"Yes, but first I think we should go out to Granny's for breakfast, what do you think?" I asked, forgetting about how I told myself I would cook breakfast. By now I couldn't care less about the looks and whispers it was just that I didn't want people to look at Roland the way they looked at me. I don't think he was exactly ready to face the public eye yet. I vowed that if anyone gave him a hard time I would do the same to them. The only person I have left is Roland and I'm not going to watch him get hurt too.