Letter to Exams
Dear Exams,I am fine here, but I think you should know that won't be for long since you are approaching. Oh the joy. Now I am going to be all anxious and frustrated. Growling and howling at people since even the slightest things will be bugging me because of those long study nights. And it's not just me, you have this effect on everyone. Everyone's under your spell, learning to spell things that we' ll possibly never use.You are like my lover, giving me long, sleepless nights. You teach me to love, caffeine and reading glasses. You teach me sacrifice. Giving up on my favourite TV show, with heavy weight on my heart -missing that awesome movie. You make me faithful, making me end all my affairs with the internet, with the TV, and of course, the one that has my heart, the one that is responsible (well, sort of) for my dreams -the one that I NEED in bed with me every day with its soft touch, just the thought of which makes me look like a love sick puppy, yes, my pillow. *dreamy sigh * You make me long for those uninterrupted movie sessions, the chats with my friends and everything else. You change me... So much that everyone can see it. My friends don't like this change, but who cares. YOU are the only one on my mind right now. You make me love like I never thought I could.You are like that distant family relative who comes for visits twice a year, sometimes more. No one likes you, no one wants you, okay that's a lie because I bet all the teachers just wait anxiously for you. But, oh well, they are close to you. You bring them presents, the ultimate chance to ruin my year for me ruining theirs.You're like that preacher who teaches me things without me even realising. I learn to appreciate small things like atoms and molecules, the old towns that don't exist anymore. You teach me to admire the beauty and significance of the stupidest things like that beautiful colour of my wall , the specs on the page in front of me and what not. You teach me to appreciate everything, EVERY FREAKING THING other than my course books of course.Your children, yes yes, the Surprise Test, the Class Test, the Weekly Test, I love all of them too, but not quite as much. None of them compares to you. To what you make me feel. The extremes that you make me go to.My intense love for you cannot be put into words. If it could, don't you think Shakespeare would have already done it? I still remember my first encounter with you like it was just yesterday. I was a nervous wreck, back then I had put in everything in my capabilities to make an impression. Now? I don't even try. You already know the truth about me.And then you sometimes even extend your unwelcome stay. But as your end comes near, and I feel you slipping away, I can feel the anxiety and pressure starting to wear off.I promise myself that I will work harder from now on. Every single day. And JUST LIKE THAT, you leave me. Alone. But don't worry. I will learn to live without you. I will re-learn what it is like going off to sleep on time, what it feels like -not walking around looking like a zombie anymore. I will manage to move on somehow. But hidden deep inside , you'll always be there in my mind because.... I know it wasn't the last I get to see you. You'll be back.. All too soon. Just as I would be settling into my easy going life and re adjusting to my procrastination and lazy ways, you'll be there, looking me in the eye and telling me to change.The product of our love, the proof and symbol of us, my efforts and your evaluation, my Report Card, our Report Card comes to existence. To this cruel world. And staring at it, I can see the bits of both you and me. I can't help but wonder about all the things that I did wrong, where all I went wrong. But looking at the result of our love, I feel this whole new sense of determination to make it better. To improve it. You? You just leave me alone. To deal with the harsh glares and bitter words of family and teachers, all by myself. The way they look at me, the relatives, the neighbours, my friends' parents.... It makes me shudder. It's clear on their faces, the disappointment because nothing I could have done would have satisfied them. They would never understand this -what you and me have. Looking at Report Card, they will judge me. But I promise I'll stay strong because the next time... I hope I will have learnt from these mistakes. You leave me, longing for one more chance with you. To correct all my mistakes.I let you go every time and you come back to me every single time. If this isn't true love, then I don't know what is.~With LoveGearing Up for your ArrivalYours TrulyYour Writer#My earliest longings have been longings to get rid of you and my wildest dreams have been dreams of breaking free from your clutches forever.(RIP William Saroyan)#
~sushi
