Disconnected [allydia]

15 days gone

Lydia had been staring at the grooves in the wood of the oak door before her for thirteen and a half minutes.

Kira seemed to have disappeared. Lydia hadn't heard a word from or about her, and she remained silent even when Lydia sent her text after text. Lydia didn't know why she felt so responsible for Kira - but Kira's boyfriend was off drinking somewhere and she'd lost Allison too. Lydia just didn't want people feeling as alone as she did.

Her hand was raised and about to make eye contact with the wood when the door swung open. Behind it stood Kira's mother, whose face looked worn, eyes filled with concern.

"You've been standing there for nearly fifteen minutes," she said. "Come in, Lydia. Please."

Lydia nodded her thanks, choking back tears as she stepped into the foyer. The worry in Mrs. Yukimara's eyes was overwhelming, her concern clearly not only for her own daughter, but for Lydia as well. For the first time in weeks, Lydia felt loved.

"Kira's in her room," the older woman said, gesturing up the stairs. "She's been hiding up there ever since... You know. I wish there was something I could do or say, but every time I try to talk to her..." She shrugged, dejected.

Lydia nodded. "She's cutting me out too. I'll see if I can find out what's up."

Kira was sitting cross-legged on her bed, staring at an open book. Her eyes didn't move across the pages, her mind didn't process the words on the page. Her brain was emotionally comatose.

"You've been quiet," Lydia said from the open door, leaning against its wooden frame. Kira simply shrugged, but Lydia took it as an invitation to step into the room and take a seat on the edge of Kira's bed. "How are you holding up?"

Kira's eyes remained fixated on the book. "Fine."

"Come on, Kira," Lydia's voice was soft, forgiving. "None of us are fine."

Kira's eyes shot up and met Lydia's. "Maybe none of you." Her voice was hardly above a whisper. "But I hardly knew Allison."

"Kira, she was your friend all the same."

"Hardly."

"Just because she's gone..." Lydia swallowed, trying to counter the lump forming in her throat. "I mean, we can't just distance ourselves from her memory. We can't just disregard her existence to save ourselves from our own sadness."

"It's been working so far."

"Has it? Because you've been holed up in your little foxhole for so long, lying low until all of this disappears, that you don't realize how permanent this is. It's not going to blow over. This won't get better unless we make it so."

"What do you want me to do? Cope like Scott, and drink away my pain? Or like Isaac, beating the living shit out of anything that moves within a three mile radius?" The book was slammed shut, tossed aside. "Like Stiles, running to a knight in shining armor - or like you? Acting like you're dealing with this better than anyone else? Babysitting the rest of us to save your own ego? That isn't coping, Lydia. It's being stuck in your own head."

Lydia sat back in stunned silence. When she spoke, her voice was heavy. "Is that what you think I'm doing?"

Kira took a shuddering breath. "My friends are turning into shadows of themselves. Hell, my boyfriend is drinking himself half to death over a girl he probably loved more than me, pretending I don't exist. You're the least of my concerns, Lydia. You can 'cope' however you want, even if it means crafting a superiority complex to save your own self esteem." She picked up the book again, opened it back to the page she'd been staring at. "Just don't involve me in the collapse of this pack."

Lydia stood from the bed, understanding that she'd been dismissed. "At least you aren't silent anymore," she said bitterly.

Kira was quiet.